


The Trouble with Tricksters

by RenneMichaels



Series: Trickster Gods [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Frost Iron - Freeform, FrostIron - Freeform, Humor, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki is a brat, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Tony is not amused, Warning: Loki, frostiron freefrom, poor steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/pseuds/RenneMichaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is kept in Stark Tower, but he is a NOT silent, dignified, lone figure, mostly avoiding the Avengers he is forced to share living quarters with. Instead he is an in your face brat. Who walks a fine line between annoying the shit out of all of them but doing it in a way that isn’t blatant enough for anyone to stomp on him without an avenging Thor coming after them. - Frost-Iron Prompt <strong> COMPLETE </strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. WTF Loki

**Author's Note:**

> The Art for this story was done by the marvelously talented Heidi Black. You should all go check out her art book at Electric Abyss. 
> 
> Beta’d by Stella (Ykmust) & Emu Sam. Many thanks to Stella for all her great suggestions, and also to Emu Sam for cleaning up the mess I leave behind after making the changes that Stella suggested. And also for all the funny notes, they make my day.
> 
> If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated, because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.
> 
> [](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/)  
> This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the hell was Odin thinking!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are electronic chocolate... just saying...

 

Permalink incase the picture is not viewable **<http://rennemichaels.tumblr.com/post/132526504693/heidiblack-i-may-or-may-not-have-done-a> **

 

**Chapter 1 - WTF Loki**

“Sir, I hesitate to interrupt you while Ms. Potts is waiting for those documents, but atmospheric conditions indicate that the Bi-Frost will be opening shortly.” The AI sounded far more apologetic than Tony considered necessary.

 _Well, thank God for that,_ Tony thought gleefully, throwing down his pen and pushing away a huge pile of contracts that had been awaiting his signature for the last two weeks.

“I have already notified Captain Rogers and the others.”

Standing, Tony patted his jeans into place and ran a smoothing hand down the front of his black Metallica t-shirt. “Tell them I’ll be right up, Jarv. Oh, and fire up the coffee maker. I could use a fresh cup.”

OoooO

Tony and Bruce met up in the Tower's communal kitchen before the others appeared. Tony was looking for a cup of life-enhancing coffee, Bruce for some of his soothing roadside weeds to drown in boiling water.

Coffee in hand, and a rumpled Bruce trailing behind him, Tony headed through the living room, out the huge glass door, and onto the terrace. After a moment, the casually dressed, boringly beige Rogers joined them.

“Hey Cap,” Tony called over the top of his cup.

“Tony. Bruce.” Steve replied, nodding to each of them in turn and looking thoughtful. “I wonder if Thor is going to be staying and training with us or if he is just popping in to say hello before heading out to Dr. Foster’s.”

Steve paused to ponder, no doubt going over how Thunder Bolt could be utilized in their next exercise, as Clint and Natasha eased into the room. Or rather, when Tasha did. Instead of the stealth ninja moves of his partner, Clint just did his off duty shamble. He was seemingly more interested in what was on his phone than the return of a teammate. At least he was until they looked over at the reinforced concrete pad that Heimdude used as a target to discover that Thor wasn’t alone.

Although the Danger Twins were both attired in SHIELD gym wear, Nat pulled two pistols out of fuck knows where, and Barton whipped a pistol of his own from a back holster. Their surprise visitor, Prince Psychopath, made a ‘Bitch Please’ face before assuming a parade rest. Feet spread in an aggressively dominant stance, his hands clasped behind him, Loki was in full on crazy bastard mode. Despite looking down the barrels of guns being held by two people who really wanted him dead, everything from his posture to his smirk let them know that guns or no, Loki, God of Mischief, didn’t fear the Avengers one tiny bit.

 _Perhaps he's counting on the fact that his bag of cats still had nine lives left? Which could be very possible,_ Tony mused. From comments Thor had made over the years, it was apparently almost impossible to kill the son of a bitch.

“Pikachu, what is Maleficent doing back on Earth? I thought he would be tied to a rock with his own entrails or something.”

“Tony,” Bruce admonished softly while Tony traded sneers with the raven haired psycho. Bruce may have been able to play it cool, but Tony could see that Steve was so upset he was practically clutching his pearls. Guns held steady, Mr. and Mrs. Smith traded sibilant whispers back and forth while shooting glares at Thor’s wayward little brother. Tony just hoped they let Thor speak before they decided to shoot something else, like say, bullets at the cocky bastard.

“Peace, my friends; Loki is here with the All Father’s approval,” Thor soothed, stepping in front of his psychotic little brother. Loki merely grimaced, rolling his eyes in full diva mode.

“Yes. Well.” As Tony glanced around at his teammates, it was all he could do not to mimic Flawed Design’s eye roll. “I am sure that would make us all feel a lot better… if maybe it wasn’t up to _him_ to decide if Baby Bad* here was allowed back on our planet?”

A clap of thunder boomed in the cloudless sky, indicating to those in the know that Blondie was not happy with anyone questioning his dad’s decisions. No matter how jacked up they might be.

“Thor,” Steve interrupted, stepping forward as Thor transferred his scowl from Tony to Captain Tight Pants, “why exactly did your dad think it would be a good idea to send Loki here?” Loki’s smile widened until it became a shark like grin.

OoooO

Despite the tacked on excuses, the real reason Loki was gracing them with his presence had nothing to do with helping earth.

 _Big surprise there,_ Tony groused sourly to himself.

And, from the equally sour expressions on Clint and Steve’s faces, it didn’t appear that Tony was the only one who thought so. Bruce, of course, was deep into his Zen, so there was no telling what he was thinking, and Natasha… Well, the only time Natasha’s face gave up an expression was when she was playing you.

“So. There you have it.” Loki's tone was jovial, and he beamed at their horrified expressions as Thor’s somewhat sparse explanation trailed off. “Odin had decided that he may have a use for me after all. So I am being shuffled to safety, lest some overly zealous Æsir diminish my worth.”

“By doing what? Putting a ding in your fender?” Tony demanded. Loki favored him with a look that left no doubt that he considered Tony to be more than a little daft.

“Of course not. By _killing me_. Not that Odin is necessarily opposed to that.” The godling shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.

“Loki,” Thor admonished with a long suffering look at his sibling, and a pleading look at his teammates.

“Wait a minute, Thor.” Clint’s face screwed up in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand what the problem is. If your dad wants him dead, why would he care if a disgruntled Asgardian offs this one? I mean seriously, who loses? Well, except of course for Nut Job here, not that anyone would care about that.”

“Were that his only worry, Agent Barton, I have no doubt that I would still be languishing in prison,” Loki drawled in an amused tone. “While the All Father patiently waited for the happy news that someone had successfully bribed a guard to kill me...”

“Loki, you know that isn’t true. Our father wanted to give you a chance to prove to him that you have repented your past transgressions.” Loathing and outrage flashed across the sharp features of the dark god for the merest instant, only to be immediately replaced by the godling’s default expression of amused scorn. Almost not sure there had been a change of expression, Tony made a mental note to make a date with Natasha and go over the security vids of this whole conversation frame by frame. Tony was pretty sure there was a foul stench in the land of cheesemakers. Or perhaps he should say, stinky fish in the land of Space Vikings.

“No, Thor. _Your_ father was simply concerned that one of the rebel groups might bribe a guard to free me before I could be killed in a way that left his hands clean.”

“One of the rebel groups?” Natasha asked her poker face firmly in place.

“Yes, amusing, is it not? The faction that hates the House of Odin apparently thinks that I am dissatisfied enough that I might help them overthrow the All Father and this big oaf beside me.” Loki rolled his eyes towards Thor, whose lips thinned in irritation at Loki's plainly stating what he had just moments before so delicately danced around. “And a large percentage of the Jotun ruling council apparently wish to install me, their lost heir, as a puppet king to eliminate the claims of more fractious contenders.”

“Wait. You’re a prince on two planets?”

Loki nodded with such arrogant, ill-concealed humor it made a person want to reach out and smack the smugness right out of him. Not that Tony would do that, even if Clint looked like he was seriously considering it. Most likely using a pistol butt.

 _Because, seriously? How was that fair?_ Tall, hot, and royalty times two? Not that Tony was jealous or anything. Because, hey, rich, handsome, _and_ genius.

_But still._

“So why doesn’t Odin just off you his self and be done with it?” Tony asked, partly out of curiosity, but mostly just to rile people up. Thor glowered at him.

“Father would never do that to Loki. In fact, he swore an oath to my mother that he would never to do so.”

Noting the skeptical look that Tony shared with Natasha, Loki elaborated, most likely so he would make Thor squirm rather than any desire to give them information. “One does not lightly break a formal oath on Asgard, especially not one made to a seidr user as powerful as the Queen. Despite Odin being supreme in all of the Nine Realms, there would be… shall we say, serious repercussions. Now, if he could have been sure I would be slain by someone else before another rescue attempt was made... Well, I am certain he would have been simply overjoyed to have bided his time.”

Shoulders sagging, Thor simply huffed out an exasperated breath. Completely ignoring the weapons still pointed at the raven haired god, he started chivvying his younger brother through the terrace doors and into the living room. “You wrong him, Loki; is he not giving you a chance to prove yourself redeemed?”

“Only because he has decided that a having disaffected prince he couldn’t kill immediately was too great a danger to his rule.”

“You agreed to his terms yourself.”

The god favored them with a toothy grin, but something cold flickered in his eyes. “So I did. Perhaps I am as insane as the All Father believes me to be.”

OoooO

The Danger Twins had slipped off before lunch had been ordered, no doubt to fill Coulson in on Loki’s Work Release program. That left Tony, Grampa Spangles, and Bruce to feed and entertain the two brothers until formal permission from SHIELD could be obtained. Sighing to himself, Tony had no doubt said permission would be granted. What with all the off-planet wackos they’ve been fielding lately, there is no way they could pass up the help and knowledge base that the Asgardians represented, let alone the chance to put Asgard, even if it was only Thor, marginally in their debt. The inevitable logistics of working the unknown Loki factor into their group was no doubt what was causing Rogers to keep rubbing his temples. Super Serum or not, apparently Gods of Mischief caused Excedrin Strength headaches.

“So. Your magic is bound unless you are using it for the benefit of others, and you can’t harm innocents or anyone who doesn’t present a dire threat to your health.”

Loki was examining his immaculate fingernails while waiting for Thor to prepare plates for both of them. He nodded absently at Tony’s comment, but otherwise ignored them, as Thor handed Loki his plate.

Steve and Thor were already eating, but Tony was still not quite sure he’d found all the gottchas yet. Because– **_Hello. Asgard_**. So there were bound to be more than a few, what with them being Space Vikings and not normal people. And of course with Loki being, well, Loki. Tony did a little mental eye roll at that thought. “And that freaky little bird necklace you’re wearing will warn and or punish you if you try to?”

Mouth full of chips and salsa, Thor grunted something that could be taken as assent.

Tony found it really comforting to know he could always count on Thor to elaborate when needed.

“Okay, so those restrictions make sense, but not the freedom of movement clause.”

“Indeed?” Loki hummed, as he concentrated on imitating how Steve had deftly spooned seasoned beef, beans, cheese and various other toppings onto a tortilla. After adding two generous spoonful of hot sauce, he deftly rolled it into a neat burrito and only then looked over towards Tony, his eyes crinkling with twisted mirth. “Complete freedom of movement, save when I am needed to protect this realm. After all, it wouldn’t do for me to be cloistered beyond the reach of your own disgruntled denizens.”

At that last one, Thor swallowed hastily. “Loki has also been enjoined to learn about your people, so he can better understand the harm he allowed to visit your realm.” Loki snorted derisively before at last taking a bite of his burrito.

OoooO

As beginnings went, Loki’s second day with the Avengers had not gone any better than the first. The Captain’s idea to have a team exercise to figure out how Loki’s fighting style would integrate with the team was admirable. Not well thought out, mind you, but no doubt Captain Rogers had meant it for the best. Unfortunately, at the first hiccup, which he had had nothing to do with, an obviously already stressed Barton had lashed out viciously.

Loki bit off the beginnings of an angry retort after a warning grunt from Thor, and instead retreated behind his brother, leaning against the nearest wall and glowering. Making sure his posture didn't become tight and closed, he watched as Clint advanced, screaming almost incoherent curses until Captain Rogers got a grip on his arm, keeping the archer from getting any closer than the center of the room.

“Clint, get a hold of yourself,” the Captain demanded, giving the arm he had firmly grasped an admonitory shake.

Loki lifted a brow dubiously. He doubted very much if the Hawk, who was working himself into a frenzy now that his forward movement had been halted, was even listening. He wondered if Barton could even hear the Captain’s low voice over his own shouting, or indeed, over the thunder that was suddenly booming outside the tower.

Thor’s reaction to the verbal assault directed towards Loki was apparently turning what had been forecast to be a fine clear day, into a heavy downpour. Worse? Thor’s storms had an incredibly irritating habit of turning into drizzles that went on for hours even after he had calmed down.

That meant, Loki supposed, suppressing a sigh and tapping thoughtfully on his lower lip, that he was going to have to borrow an umbrella when he went out this evening, since he was pretty sure there was no way he could convince his amulet that a rain shield would benefit anyone but him.

“Loki!”

Thor’s aggrieved voice recalled him to the training room, where Rogers and Stark where staring at him, Natasha apparently having dragged the archer away.

“What?”

“It’s fine, Thor.” The Captain sighed. “Loki didn’t do anything wrong.” He looked pointedly at Loki. “However, when we are down here, we need you to stay focused. Okay?”

Loki nodded, sliding away from Thor's questing hand as they regrouped in a different configuration to make up for the missing archer and assassin. Three hours later, rather than head towards the changing room with the others, he ducked back up to his own room. He could clean up there just as well, and if he hurried, he could be finished and out of the building before Thor and the others knew about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Baby Bad - Loki is Sorry Cakes by anno_Hreog 
> 
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	2. Slipping the leash and other fun stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone worships a different Techo God than Tony does. Heresy slithers into... Nay. Is invited into Stark Towers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d by Stella (Ykmust) & Emu Sam. Many, many thanks!

**Chapter 2 – Slipping the leash and other fun stuff**

A few days later, when he sidled home after a long afternoon of entrepreneurial pursuits, Loki was surprised to find Stark in the Tower apartment he shared with Thor. Not that he let Stark see it.

Poking a screwdriver despondently at something in the large disemboweled refrigerator, the short mortal gazed tiredly at Loki and sighed. It was the heartfelt kind of sigh normally reserved for problems that absolutely could not be fixed. Like having to co-exist with aggravating family members.

“You know, your brother is a freaking menace around anything with a circuit board,” Stark stated in an aggrieved tone, almost more to himself than to Loki.

Casting a wary eye on the mortal who was currently his landlord, Loki considered how lucky they had been that items on Asgard were not, as a rule, subject to incidental damage from Thor's electric presence. From the conversations he’d overheard during the last week, and the unfortunate outcome when Thor merely moved the Stark pad that had been personally issued to the younger god, Loki knew that the same could not be said for items of Midgardian manufacture. Most of them reacted badly to Thor even touching them, no matter what superhuman precautions Stark took. The dead electronics trailing the Thunderer irritated Stark to the point where the mortal had bitterly cursed the fact that the tower did not have grounded terrazzo floors. If it had, Stark had sworn, ‘Bolt Boy’ would have been wearing a static heel strap twenty-four seven, and probably providing enough energy to pay for most of the crap he broke.

OoooO

After tossing his screwdriver into his tool box in disgust, Tony scowled at the heavens, or at least the damn ceiling. His hands involuntarily curling into tight fists, quivering in suppressed, but no less acute frustration he growled, “Jarvis, order Thor another refrigerator, will you?” Shaking his hands open, Tony snatched up the panel he’d been working on and practically shoved in back into place. After all, why bother to be careful when the damn thing was trashed? “Another entry level model, if you would.”

“Of course, Sir. I shall do so immediately,” Jarvis replied sympathetically, well aware of how it chafed at Tony to have something in his tower that was not top of the line. However, this was the third time everything the least bit electrical in the damn fridge had fried. And until he could figure out a way to keep it from happening yet again, even Tony couldn’t see the sense of buying a more upscale model. He’d been so sure that adding all those extra static arrestors would do the trick. They hadn’t; every last damn one of them had been burnt to a crisp.

“Honestly, your brother is one damn pain in my ass after another,” Tony bitched, not really at Loki, but not entirely under his breath either. He irritably gathered up the rest of his tools and shot an admittedly undeserved scowl at Thor’s brother.

Noting Loki's suppressed smirk, he straightened irritably. “This isn’t funny you know.” Tony tried to keep the sour note out of his voice, but he was honestly totally fed up with Thor killing everything he touched. And having his aggravating, skinny shit of a brother laughing at Tony’s annoyance wasn’t helping one damn bit.

With a smirk that was no longer suppressed, the younger god said, “Actually, Stark, this is incredibly amusing to me. And quite liberating, now that I am no longer the one who has to worry about fixing what that dolt has messed up.” After a moment of enjoying Tony’s exasperation, a full on grin bloomed across his face and the god leaned, hipshot against the entry hall archway, clearly ready for Tony’s antics to entertain him further.

And wasn’t that just what Tony needed right now? Fried electronics with a side of sass.

“Fuck.” Picking up his tool box, Tony was just about to brush past the grinning, leggy bastard when Loki pushed himself off the arch, partially blocking Tony’s path, giving him the choice of stopping, or shouldering the god out of his way. Since the bastard Asgardian was every bit as strong as Spangles, but without Steve’s good nature, Tony decided to stop.

“Problem?” he asked with a questioning glare.

“No. Not really.” The god replied, stepping back into the hall so Tony could follow. “It’s just that earlier today, I found Barton’s wallet between the couch cushions in the gathering room. Would you ask your Jarvis to let him know that I left it behind the bar, top shelf, by that odd green bottle."

_Yeah. Found my ass._

“Jarvis, tell Clint his wallet is on the top shelf by Bruce’s Kierewiet. Remind him that we do have a step stool by the sink, and that I would appreciate him not putting his nasty boots on the top of my bar. Again.”

Tony was not the tiniest bit surprised that ‘somehow’ Barton’s wallet had found its way to Loki’s hands.

Since the god had arrived in the tower, Clint had made it a point to snipe at and harass Loki to the point where retaliation seemed, if not deserved, at least not surprising. And during practice, while tossing knifes every which way, Tony had noticed how incredibly nimble fingered the younger god was. So he was pretty sure the younger god had what it took to be an expert pickpocket. Still, petty theft? Wasn’t that a bit low for a prince? Even a younger, snot nosed one? One that he knew was getting an allowance from big Bro?

But maybe it didn’t have to make sense? God of _Mischief_ , after all.

Tony fixed a sardonic eye upon the raven haired punk in front of him. “Speaking of liberating, you’re saying you ‘found’ it?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I am saying.” Loki looked at Tony with a raised brow, and an obviously fake expression of bemusement. “I was given to understand that English was your first language. Yes?”

“Yeah. And?”

“And you are questioning me about the word 'found', why?”

Tony just sighed at Loki's increasingly sly smirk. While he couldn’t be sure at the time, later when Clint’s heartfelt shriek of ‘IT'S EMPTY’, echoed across the common room, it was not really that much of a surprise. Nor, he supposed, was Thor’s face palm.

The entire team, Tony included, might have been upset for a day or two. But the appearance of delicate metal tracery that had somehow been inlaid into the tower’s solid marble floors and hooked to the electrical system, without Jarvis so much as getting a glimpse of how they were installed, had Tony far too busy checking his building security to worry about possible petty theft. And besides, once he saw the exquisitely decorative, but highly suspicious, metal work running the length of Thor’s boots, he was willing to give the younger god a pass. Even if the design was a bit more Norse inspired than Tony might have chosen.

As for the money? It served Clint right for not using the damn step stool. Again.

OoooO

For reasons best known to himself, and probably having to do with aggravating the rest of them, Loki refused to stay on Thor’s floor. Yet somehow, it seemed that strange occurrences, which were impossible to trace back to him, had started to plague everyone in his wake. Nothing big, really. Just stuff like doors that only got stuck when Natasha tried to open them. Or Bruce developing butter fingers anytime he pulled anything out of the center cabinet in the kitchen. Or the television always being on a porn channel any time Steve turned it on. Or Thor’s phone going immediately to voice mail no matter how many times Tony reset it. And worst of all, at least in his opinion, Tony’s coffee cup constantly disappearing half way through every cup of coffee, only to reappear once his coffee was stone cold.

The bitch of it was Jarvis’s cameras and sensors never catching Loki doing anything to cause it, or even catching Tony’s coffee doing its vanishing act.

Despite the myriad of small oddities experienced by the group, nothing weird seemed to happen to Clint. Instead, the god seemed to take a special delight in surprising him in the gym or on the communal floor. The latter was where Tony found him while he was looking for someone to watch movies with. The younger god was sitting by one of the terrace windows with a book open on his lap. If having ankle crossed, mile long legs draped over one arm of a chair, while you lounge like a ‘Golden Age of Hollywood’ diva against the other, could indeed be called _sitting_.

And frankly, Tony wasn’t quite sure what to call whatever it was that Loki was doing to that red lollipop that he kept sucking and rolling obscenely against the inside of his cheek before pulling it out with a pop. Only to then swirl his red stained tongue around it in a mesmerizing fashion, before sucking it between his lips, halfway into his mouth, and spinning it—

Other than pornographic, maybe. Flushing slightly, Tony gave himself a mental shake.

Of course, in addition to the God of Sinful Lollipop Devouring*, the common room also contained one sour faced, visibly tense Hawkeye. The first week or so after the god’s arrival, when Loki entered a room, Clint would immediately begin sniping or taunting him. Then, after Steve put his foot down, Clint would just glare hatefully and stalk out of the room. At that point , of course, Loki had made it his mission to slowly trail around after the archer, waiting for him to settle somewhere before following him. He would gently herd Barton from room to room, until the archer got fed up with it and retreated to his own floor. Then, having won, the god would smile crookedly and wink at who ever noticed.

Or at least he had until a few days ago, when Clint had declared that no matter what, he was not going to allow ‘that bastard’ to run him off of the common floor and gym level anymore.

Even that, the Trickster found to be a source of quiet amusement,s witnessed by his serenely spending his free time in whatever room Clint was in. Today, ashad become his wont since he was no longer allowed to pick fights with the younger god, the archer was steadfastly trying to ignore Loki’s very existence.

Bruce refused to participate, but Tony, Natasha, Pepper, and Happy currently had several betting pools running. How, who, and when one would goad the other into snapping; how much property damage would ensue; and which Mother Hen, Steve or Thor, would break first under the strain of monitoring all their passive-aggressive behavior. Watching Clint play for a few minutes, Tony pondered the pool deadlines that had already passed, and how the various pots were growing quite impressive as all the new bets were laid.

This is why a pissed off Clint was playing the latest edition of Soul Reaver, while doggedly pretending the nearby Trickster wasn’t in the room with him. And also ignoring Tony, apparently. Figuring Clint was still mad about being yelled at for standing on the bar again, Tony decided to amble over and bug Loki-Dokie for a bit. After all, Clint was the only one that Grandpa Rogers had banned from poking sticks at Prince Psychopath.

Totally trying to tune out the whole lollypop porn thing going on, Tony dragged a nearby chair closer and dropped down in it. Pausing in mid lick, a slightly puzzled god watched Tony as he pushed one of the books Loki wasn’t currently reading over a trifle to make a bit of room on the side table for his Scotch. Setting his glass down, Tony thanked all the god’s that weren’t assholes that his drink tumblers didn’t vanish like his coffee cups did.

Flicking his tongue out licking his already wet lips, Loki lowered both his brows, and the lollypop, to look at him questioningly.

“So,” Tony said conversationally while lacing his fingers together across his arc reactor. “Odin said your magic was blocked unless you were helping people?”

Loki’s eyes flashed dangerously under those lowered brows. The god was obviously not the least bit amused to be reminded of that. Or having to repeat their initial conversation. Still, you had to give the guy props for being cool about it. Except for the now slightly jutting jaw, and the slight tightening of pale fingers on the lollypop stick, he didn’t let his displeasure show.

“And so it is, Stark. My personal magic is indeed blocked except in those circumstances. And every time I forget that, and try to access it by habit for small tasks, I am rewarded with what feels like a knife thrust twisting in my heart.” While Loki’s tone remained lightly casual, his diction became a touch more clipped. “However, I am sure you don’t want to hear about the excruciating, debilitating pain I experience several times a day.”

“Actually, no. I’m good on that. What I want to know is how you’re getting around it to do all the little odd stuff.” Unlacing his fingers, Tony considered how Odin’s avoidance, aversion tactics seemed to be some fucked up aggressive form of Asgardian dog training. He also considered how glad he was that the bastard was Loki and Thor’s dad and not his, before waving a hand in dismissal.

"Oooh?" Loki dropped his lollypop in Tony’s glass of Scotch and set his book aside on the same table. His entire face scrunching up in amusement. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Well, yeah. That’s why I asked,” Tony groused. “And let me tell you, I think that now that you’ve dropped your ball of sugar on a stick in my Scotch, my very expensive Scotch I might add, you really owe me an answer.”

“Oh? Oh very well.” The long sigh was as theatrical as they came. “To explain what I have been doing in tiny words so you will understand… I’m using the Force.”

“The Force, with capitalization? Like in Star Wars? That Force?”

Grinned impishly, Loki’s voice deepened dramatically, picking up a very familiar cadence. “Yes, Stark, my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. And unlike siedr, it is fortunately available to all who have the necessary training to use it. So I do. Use it, that is, since I can’t draw on my own magic unless I am helping someone. And as silver tongued as I am, there is no way to convince my little buddy here,” Loki ticked the raven pendent, “that something like turning Captain America uniform back to what it originally looked like is helping. I am forced to find other sources of power. ”

Loki paused a moment, looking thoughtful. “Of course, if I improved the uniform’s function…” Loki appeared to give that idea some serious thought before refocusing on Tony. “As I may have mentioned earlier, unlike the rest of you mortals, I am far from stupid. In addition to siedr which has to pass through my body, I have learned how to use many other ambient forms of energy. You would be amazed at how much mischief you can get up to without having evil intent, and thus not activating this lovely piece of jewelry.”

“Yeah, quite the fashion statement there, sport,” Tony sniped, his mouth almost on autopilot, while his thoughts were more drawn to what kind of mischief the god might be thinking of, and how the breezy reassurances from Thor on how harmless his brother was now hadn’t mentioned the parameters of allowed mischief. This was no doubt an oversight on the Avengers' part that they had really ought to have explored. Although Tony wondered if discussing those possibilities with big brother would even help. Probably not, he guessed, if Thor hadn’t thought to mention them even when all the weird stuff had started happening.

“And how exactly is having my coffee disappear helping?”

Loki allowed the corners of his mouth to lift in an adorable little smile while his eyes danced with mischief. “Stark,” he purred, “I have heard Doctor Banner, Ms. Potts, and even your Jarvis warn you numerous times that drinking so much coffee was bad for you.” Tony groaned.

“You’re a shit head, you know that?” Tony demanded, annoyed, but completely rhetorically, since there was no way he was going to debate with the bastard on that subject. “And the other crap? Steve’s porn? Nat’s door problem and Bruce dropping everything? And besides all that, how in the hell do you even know about the Force anyhow?”

“Ah. Doctor Banner only drops the stuff he feels he shouldn’t be eating. Doors only stick when Ms. Romanoff really doesn’t want to go through them. Dear Captain Rogers doesn’t really like that he gets flustered so easily. As for all things Star Wars…” Reaching over, Loki stirred his bright red lolly pop a few times in Tony’s drink while nodding towards Clint. “He watched a marathon last week,” the god said smugly, popping his now Scotch-laden lollypop back in his mouth.

Before Tony could lay into him for desecrating his forty year old Scotch with a freaking ball of artificially flavored sugar, wide eyed, Loki pulled the offending sugar ball back out of his mouth with an obscene pop, and looked at it in wonder. Which Tony had to admit, despite himself, was pretty damn funny. What was not funny was they getting interrupted by Loki’s phone ringing.

_What the hell?_

The guy had only been here for a few weeks. Who the hell would be calling him? Tony wondered as Loki pulled out his phone. However, he soon lost all interest in who might be calling the God of Mischief and instead wondered where the hell Loki had picked up an **iPhone**.

Seriously? An _iPhone_ in Stark tower? That was so not happening.

Concentrating on his phone call and his lollypop, Loki completely ignored Tony’s outraged growl. A totally justified outraged growl, as nobody else who lived or worked there would dare bring an Apple product into Stark tower.

Hell, if Tony thought he could get away with it, he would make visitors turn theirs in before entering the main lobby. He still got mad at Pepper every time he remembered how vehemently she nixed that idea.

“Yes? Beckenstein’s? Ah, Jonathon, hello.” The godling’s brows puckered in thought a moment. “No. Your shop will be fine for the fittings. Tomorrow at eleven? Yes, of course. Perfect. I’ll see you then.” Loki ended the call with the swipe of his finger and tucked the offending device back in his pocket before noticing Tony’s outraged expression.

“I could have sworn, I gave Thor a StarkPhone, StarkPad and an SI-G Laptop for you to use.”

“Indeed, you did.” The smugness rolling off the god was so thick that Tony wanted to smack him. “However, Thor fried the tablet you provided, and when I went to replace it, I decided to replace them all.”

“I would have given you a—“

“Not that I suspect that the ones that you gave me were tampered with or anything,” Loki said pointing at him with that damn lollypop, and rolling right over Tony’s outrage. “My new laptop and tablet were both delivered yesterday; I understand from the Apple Care White Glove Service representative that your receptionist was reluctant to allow him entry into the building, let alone the private elevator.”

 _Apple drones_ in his _private_ elevator!?

Tony could feel the cords in his neck stand out, but he was pretty proud at how level his voice was. “Yeah. Well see, it’s like this. We don’t use Apple products here. Stark International? In Stark Tower? We use Stark products.”

The head of a pin could have held all the proverbial fucks that Loki apparently gave.

“Correction. You, your employees, and your merry band of idiots don’t use Apple products.” Loki winked at him saucily, snatching up the glass of Scotch he had swirled his lollypop in before striding with it towards the door. “However, you can ask Thor if you must, Stark, and I guarantee he’ll tell you exactly what I tell you now: _I do what I want_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *God of Sinful Lollipop Devouring - TROLOLOLIPOP by miravisu 
> 
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.  
> .  
> The Avengers & Thor are the property of Marvel & Disney. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	3. I'll Fix You My Pretty!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does anyone every try to get the better of a Trickster God? It always ends in tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful by Stella (Ykmust) and Emu Sam
> 
> Not wanting to over promise, I signed up for a mini bang. Which was good, because the story had to be complete by the check in deadline... And my mini bang was. 
> 
> However.... Those of you who have read my stuff before know I can't give directions to the kitchen in under 20K. So... I may or may not have more story that wasn't done in time to turn in. Just sayin'.

**Chapter 3 – I’ll Fix You My Pretty**

Apple products used by people ‘ _living’_ in Stark tower? It was ‘ _so’_ on!

Tony’s retaliation campaign kicked off the next evening over diner when Clint casually, in a manner as passively aggressive as it is possible, without an actual war being declared, said, “You know, Cap, Loki is going to fucking freak people out the first time they see him fighting with the Avengers.”

Possibly not how Tony might have phrased it, but it did cause Steve to frown and rub the bridge of his nose a moment as if in pain.

And, no. Tony did not put Clint up to this. Even if the topic had come up in conversation that morning as he and Clint passed each other in the kitchen. Tony just wanted a juice box to take to bed with him. It was pure luck that he’d stumbled across Clint blindly fumbling for his first cup of coffee. Or at least, that was his story and Tony was sticking to it. Besides, he was pretty sure that Clint had been too out of it due to the lack of caffeine to remember Tony bringing up the topic.

_Tony Stark doesn't do subconscious hints and shadowy manipulations, unlike a certain dark-hair Norse God and a certain red-hair spy. Thanks._

“I have been wondering about that.” Bruce said quietly, almost as if on cue. “The only people who got a name were either Shield or the scientists working on the portal.” He looked up from his salad, first at Loki, then at Steve. “But, even with the haircut and without the helmet? That outfit is pretty recognizable.”

And that is why Tony loved Bruce. They thought alike. Okay, so maybe Bruce wasn’t as big a prick as Tony was, but still. And as the one Avenger who excelled at really staying under the radar even without government help, the engineer knew his words would carry weight with Steve.

Sighing in a way that let Tony know he really didn’t want the specter of _‘old Loki’_ to rock the Avengers boat, Steve glanced around the table at those who hadn’t yet weighted in. Thor of course looked pained. What with the way Thor always wore his, it was apparent that Asgardians became attached to their armor. And Nat wouldn’t give an opinion about the sun rising in the east unless you asked her directly… And there was something in it for her… And you put a gun to her head… But that still might not do the trick other than digging your own grave. Anyway, that's was beside the point.

At any rate all she was giving up was a thoughtfully raised eyebrow. This left Tony as the Avenging tie-breaker.

“You know,” He drawled thoughtfully. “I was wondering about Lo-Lolly needing to ditch the villain thing and get himself a new look if he was going to hang with us good guys,” Tony tapped his fingers on the table surface and calling up the design screen under the glass.

“Jarvis, pull up the designs I was working on, will you?” Nat rolled her eyes at him. Not that Tony had thought there was a chance in hell of fooling her. “Cap, move the salad bowl and the carrots so everyone can see, will you?”

“There is nothing wrong with my armor.” Loki said frostily, laying his fork down with exaggerated restraint. Tony beamed at him.

“Yeah. Yeah, there is. Not that the whole ‘ _Lord of Evil’_ thing you rock isn’t a good look on you,” Tony’s grin turned predatory, developing a lot of tooth. “‘Cause trust me it is, it shows off your tall, lean leather fetish tendencies a treat. But popular consensus seems to be that if you’re going to hang with the Righteous you need a new look.” Tony started opening up files, ignoring Loki’s deepening horror as each design popped up. “I’ve already worked up a prototype of this in skin tight, titanium reinforced Kevlar.” Tony leered at the appalled younger god before adding, “Because you’ve got the legs and ass to rock the pared down look.”

The skin tight outfit displayed would not only highlight Loki’s godly ass-ets, but the colors would also allow him to be visible from space. And anything that helped them keep an eye on Lolly-P while he was supposedly watching their backs, was all to the good as far as Tony was concerned. And if it made it easier for the bad guys to target the godling?

_Bonus!_

OoooO

There was no doubt in Loki’s mind that Stark was retaliating against him for not using his snooped to the hilt Stark gear.

Thor, seated beside him was looking doubtfully, but unfortunately not dismissively, at the prototype, a bright green, high necked, long sleeved unitard with over the knee yellow boots, gloves, epaulets, and a long cape. Not gold, or bronze, but bright yellow. Almost the same shade as the mortal’s painted the vehicles that transported their spawn to lessons.

“Now hear me out, I know Edna Mode says ‘ _no capes’_ , but you and Big Guy just rock them.” Stark said as he brought up several other variations of the outfit that they could consider. Some had gloves going up to the elbow, some had straps running down or across the thighs, and one had some kind of loin cloth arrangement that Stark referred to as ‘trouser snake’ insurance just in case the unitard caused problems. And as if any of these weren’t horrible enough, they were also shown in a bright lime green and citrus yellow combination that would no doubt make the mortals eyes bleed if he wore them on a sunny day.

Loki was appalled, while the original prototype was bad, all of the other outfits were worse, there was not a one of them wasn’t garnish and gaudy, and just flat ridiculous. “I begrudge you the oxygen in every breath you take.” He hissed at the billionaire skewering him with a poisonous glare.

Somewhat taken aback by Loki’s more than vehement delivery, Stark recovered quickly. “Yeah, well, sucks to be you then since I own the air space that this building occupies. That makes all the oxygen technically mine. But, because I am a generous guy, not only am I going to allow you to breathe the oxygen in my tower, I’m going to gift you with the porotype suit I already worked up.

“It _is_ a bit bright, Tony.” Rogers said pointing to the prototype, honestly surprising Loki, given what the man’s own outfit had looked like during the invasion.

However, he vaguely recalled that the super solider had been some sort of artist before he became a hero. For a moment, Loki dared to hope that the captain’s artist sensibilities would prevail against the gleeful enthusiasm of Stark and Barton.

Bruce nodded. “So what is the story on the colors, Tony? As Steve said, they’re a bit bright.”

_This coming from someone who turned into an almost naked bright green monster._

“Totally new fabric, Brucie, which I will admit needs tweaked just a bit. Right now, the stilbene I used to fuse carbon fibers to the titanium is playing hell with the dyes. I am working on it, but it will take time to make changes without weakening the material. As it sits right now? This formula has the best strength, movement and protection.”

From the gleam in Banner’s eye, Loki didn’t think he was buying that explanation either. But the changeable mortal also wasn’t about to challenge the engineer. And worse, the explanation seemed to have mollified whatever doubts the captain and the blonde idiot beside him may have had. Looking further down the table, Loki noted that the Widow seemed disinterested in the outcome, so no support could be expected there. Not that he would have expected any for himself, but he did think in the interest of good taste in general she might have chimed in.

Thor certainly knew that Loki hated the color and design presented, but he didn’t look like he would challenge his new shield brothers over a matter of esthetics. Not that this came as any surprise, particularly since it would not be the Mighty Thor wearing such an atrocious getup. Besides the oaf had always been passively vindictive.

“I know this is retaliation for the iPhone,” Loki hissed across the table. Stark merely raised a brow and gave him a lazy smile.

“Loki, you really can’t wear your old armor,” The Captain said apologetically. “And Tony does very generously provide us with all our gear.” Before Loki could object, Rogers fixed Tony with what he no doubt felt was a stern look, “And Tony, you will work on the color and get with Loki on making design changes once you get everything ironed out, yes?” His tone was more that of command than question. Not that Stark would care, Loki thought bitterly.

The engineer’s steady gaze slid from Loki to Rogers, his tiny smile morphing into a bright, outwardly agreeable grin. “Sure, Cap, no problem.”

“I tell you now, Stark, there is no way in Helheim I am wearing anything you have any part of creating.”

“Sorry, sweet cheeks, it’s this or nothing.” Tony sang cheerfully, not even trying to hide the victorious smirk his lips had twisted into.

Steve still looked somewhat doubtful, but as everyone, except of course for Loki, had agreed that his look needed to change radically he decided that Loki, temporarily wearing something he didn’t like, was not that much of a sacrifice to make. “Well, it is only the trial version. And Tony has agreed to make changes as soon as he can, so for now this is the best we can do.”

Loki shot Stark a glare colder than Niflheim, but bit back all of the comments he wanted to make. After all, he was not one to waste his arguments when there was no chance of success. But if Stark and Barton thought they had won… They would soon find out they were sorely mistaken.

OoooO

Now that Loki had a suit, however much he personally hated the thing, it was decided that the next time the Avengers were called out he would join them. Tony delivered the suit to Loki with great fanfare. Loki immediately stuck the repellent thing in the Ready Room, slamming his newly assigned locker shut before going about his business.

After all, gold coinage from another realm did not hawk _itself_ to the highest bidder. And then he had reconnaissance to do, a bit of light reading on criminal justice and the Midgardian court system, some research on vigilantes, a visit to a place called Bedford–Stuyvesant and an in-depth study on how to circumvent Midgardian security and computer systems. The last would be relatively easy since he would be using Stark’s own for that.

OoooO

Frankly, Tony was surprised Loki had given up that easily on the whole suit thing. Except for his taking to almost constantly wearing a _‘Three Apple’s that Changed the World’_ shirt while stalking Clint. And while that had definitely grated his nerves, because the fucker must have bought a dozen of the damn things, in hindsight, Tony should’ve known better. There was no way that someone labeled the God of Mischief would not have passed up this kind of an opportunity to screw with them collectively. Something they were all to find out two weeks later when Loki’s lithe form, completely unimpeded by a skin tight body suit in loud colors, pounded across the tarmac.

Taking in the custom tailored suit that immaculately clothed the Trickster, Thor groaned.

“Loki!” Steve yelled, “Where’s your armor? We have to leave.”

As the QuinnJet lifted, Loki threw himself in his assigned seat, buckling his safety straps, apparently dismissing whatever Thor was hissing in his left ear. “I did say that I would not be wearing that ridiculous get up. The design was not suited to my style of fighting and the color choice was hideous to behold. I would rather wear this.”

Loki smirked up at Tony, “I do hope you’re happy, Stark. You should know that if I am seriously injured, the Queen of Asgard will no doubt have you slain.” He then turned to glare at Thor, “And you will have much explaining to do to your mother for supporting their decision that I wear that ridiculous get up or no armor at all.”

“Yeah. Well, technically your other choice was ‘ _not_ ’ to go without armor. Your other choice was wearing ‘ _nothing_ ’,” Tony snarked.

This earned him a hard eyed stare; Loki’s dark green eyes glittered malevolently, and without releasing Tony’s gaze, Loki shrugged off his tailored jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt. That earned Tony loud cries of condemnation from his team mates as the dark haired god continued to undress.

“Why the hell are you yelling at me? He’s the one stripping off!”

Ignoring the uproar now directed at him and Tony equally, Loki calmly slid his shirt off and unbuckled his slim black leather belt. He wrinkled up his nose adorably, or rather in a way that would have been adorable if he had been some K-pop princess working her kitten look. “If you insist on naked, I certainly have no objections.” And then didn’t the bastard unclick his harness, stand up and shimmy out of his boxers and slacks in one smooth well practiced move.

“Bliiiiiiiiind!” Clint screamed dramatically before burying his face in Natasha’s chest. “Tasha, make him stop,” he moaned, his movement interrupting the searing glare she was shooting at the stunned inventor. She smacked the back of Clint’s head sharply before pushing him roughly away from her cleavage.

**“Loki!”**

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me, Thor, you agreed with them that I was to wear that monstrosity Stark came up with, or _nothing_. I was merely trying to maintain a little decorum by wearing regular clothes. However, rest easy, I will abide by your ridiculous decree. I, after all, do not have a build reminiscent of a shaved bear like you do, so I certainly have no reason to be ashamed of how my body looks.”

“Loki,” Thor growled again, “You are choosing to be maliciously obedient; you know how father hates that.”

“Well, yes, but since he’s not my father, and since my actions are not triggering any warning response, and since the word _obedient_ is still in that phrase, I don’t think I have anything I need to worry about.” The raven haired god smiled nastily, “Perhaps next time you and your friends try to embarrass and humiliate me, you might remember this as an object lesson.”

Thor, mortified at his brother’s behavior, avoided all of their glares by lowering his face into his hands. With only the top of his blonde head and his pink tipped ears visible, a noise much like a strangled moan escaped him. Something that Tony could totally understand, because dicks swinging in the wind aside… Centuries of putting up with a rules lawyer as a brother would have to wear on Thor’s very soul. But then, even when the almost naked bastard had Thor on the ground, figuratively speaking, Loki felt the need to get in one last kick.

“And I must say, Thor, you are certainly not setting a very good example for me,” Loki continued in a conversational voice as he toed his shoes off and slipped his feet from the pants pooled on the deck, Folding them neatly as he continued to calmly berate his sibling. “What with changing your mind so capriciously all the time.”

Thor, after a quick sideways peek through his fingers, to see that his brother was not only still getting undressed, but had stopped a moment to pose, in his natural glory for the gawkers, clutched at his hair.

A bug-eyed Clint moaned, “My eyes! I can never un-see this!”

“Jesus, Loki! Cover up, will ya?” Steve groaned turning scarlet despite all the Porn Exposure Therapy he’d been undergoing via the Trickster’s spell on the TV remote.

Bruce coughed, a tiny smile tugging at his lips as he decided to study his shoes, no doubt appreciating that at least this time he would not be the one showing the most skin.

While Tony’s eyes did not get quite as wide as Barton’s did, they did grow bigger as he studied the now totally unclothed, totally unconcerned god across from him. And fuck if Loki didn’t notice, and smirk at the countless of expressions, involuntarily flickering across Tony’s face. Many of them, much more appreciative than they should have been, considering he was scoping out Thor’s villainous little brother.

He shared a glance with Natasha, who left off cataloging the _‘goods’,_ so to speak, to give him a tiny shrug, and an even tinier smirk at how gobsmacked he was. Not that Tony was intimidated by the _weapon_ the younger god was packing, even if it ‘ _was’_ impressive.

And…

Um…

Um…

 _Really fucking godly_.

After making sure everyone had looked their fill, Loki unconcernedly reseated himself, clicking the safety harness back on. Tony made a mental note to put in a request for maintenance to have all the seats steam cleaned as soon as they got back. All in all, it had taken almost the entire trip, numerous threats, that, by the way, rolled off Loki’s bare back like water off a duck, and _finally,_ a bribe by Thor for an obscene amount of spending money, before they could convince the god to at least put his underwear, slacks and shoes back on.

And of course a hasty vote from the rest of the team to assure Loki that ‘ _Nothing_ ’ could and indeed was amended to now, at least, to encompass pants and shoes. The Avengers had of course voted for fully clothed, but the younger god wouldn’t accept that to be an option.

And fuck no. It wasn’t in the least bit distracting to have a half-naked long haired Adonis twirling around one way while his staff, the big metal one not the one nature gave him, went the other way. The bastard was like a prima ballerina with mad knife skills.

And later? Later, Tony had taken no end of flack when photos of the fight, and a heroically bare chested Asgardian, were plastered across every paper in the country. Coulson called him personally, and told him he didn’t care what it took, or how much it cost, but if Loki showed up for the next fight looking like the hero on a romance novel cover, Tony’s heart problems notwithstanding, Phil and his Taser were going to pay him a personal a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki Nick Name Credits  
> God of Sinful Lollypop Devouring - TROLOLOLIPOP by miravisu  
> Baby Bad – Loki is Sorry Cakes by anno_Hreog  
> Both excellent stories that are much funnier than mine. You should check them out. :D
> 
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	4. All that Glitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midgardian bling is just wonderful! And somehow offensive to most of the team. Double Score!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Saga continues, my gift to you for Turkey Day! 
> 
> Beta'd by the o-so-wonderful Stella (Ykmust) with many lovely suggestions and final beta'd by the extremely understanding Emu Sam. You both Rock!
> 
> ****** MAKE SURE YOU READ THE END NOTES ***************

**Chapter 4 – All that Glitters**

Loki was, amazingly enough, present for the team dinner that evening. It was amazing because more often than not in the last week, the godling had not spent any time at all in the tower. Yet, when Tony finally made it to the table, there he was, passing rolls to Natasha. Tony had no doubt that the reason Loki was there had more to do with Steve’s non-negotiable invitation than the god’s desire to break bread with the rest of the Avengers. At least, that was the only reason why Tony was there. And, unlike Loki, he _almost_ , _kinda_ liked them.

“You’re early,” Bruce told him with a smile. “We’ve just started.”

“Love you too, Brucie.” Sliding into his seat, Tony snagged a plate of maple glazed pork chops that Clint was attempting to pass to Thor, much to the big lug’s dismay.

“Thank you, Tweetie. Oh, stop with the puss face, Point Break,” he chided almost absently. “There’s enough for all of us here.” He looked at the large, but not huge platter, “Or rather, there will be if we normal people get served first. Pork chops, Bruce? Or are you still on your quinoa burger, tofu cube, and edible cardboard kick?

Smiling, Bruce accepted the platter and then immediately handed it off to Thor. “It was _muesli_ , Tony. Is the word too hard to pronounce for your genius brain?” It seemed Bruce was in his cheerful mood tonight.

“Noooooo.” Tony paused, the memory of that day scored deep in his mind, or at least his taste buds. “It was shredded cardboard with raisins and nuts. I tasted it, remember?”

“Mister Odinson, sir,” Jarvis interrupted before Bruce could launch into one of his unprocessed grain, i.e. ‘cardboard is good for you’ rants. “There are some gentlemen requesting entry to the private garage area without prior authorization. They claim to be trying to deliver a Jaguar they say belongs to you.”

Every set of eyes swiveled over to stare at an incredibly unconcerned Trickster god. All of them wide with disbelief, except for Thor’s; his eyes hadn’t simply widened, they practically popped in delight. “Br—Loki! You bought a cat like Mother's?”

Fastidiously dabbing his lips, Loki rolled his eyes, and then tossed his used napkin beside his plate. “No. Thor, it is a vehicle,” Loki replied flatly. “Unlike you, I see no reason not to learn how to use the local means of conveyance.”

“I can fly,” Thor said somewhat smugly. “Therefore, I have no need to learn how to drive Midgard’s cars.”

“Well, yes. But those of us who weren’t given magic hammers by an _overly doting father..._ ” Loki shot a withering glare at Thor, causing the blonde’s smile to immediately fade. “Have to find other ways to deal with our transportation needs.”

“So you bought a Jaguar?” Clint asked, his face twisted up in an odd expression that seemed to shift from incredulity to puzzlement.

Which Tony could totally understand, because, come on it’s a Jaguar. How the hell does an Asgardian even know about British sports cars? And besides, a Jag is not exactly a beginner car.

Clint’s voice took on the dubious tone and cadence of someone who already knew the answer to the question they were going to ask, and didn’t like what that answer was going to be. “Do you even know how to drive yet?”

“Obviously not,” Loki called out over his shoulder as he sashayed towards the elevator. “Otherwise, I would have driven the wretched thing home after I bought it rather than having it delivered.”

It was now Tony turn to roll his eyes.

Despite not being a ‘Car Guy,’ Clint still looked faintly horrified as he and Tony exchanged a quick look with each other. It took Tony perhaps another half a heartbeat to come to a decision. “Jarvis! Hold the elevator.” The engineer yelled, charging after the god.

Eighty stories below him, a finely built automobile was in imminent peril.

OoooO

Thor was being exceptionally quiet as he studied the income-expenditure printout Jarvis had prepared using the group’s observations of his expenditures and Loki’s own begrudging explanation of his income.

While the others might have wondered how Loki had even thought to talk the mortal exchangers into giving him currency over the gold value, Loki was sure Thor didn’t. After all, he had normally been the one to do the trading and bargaining for everything except food when they were on a quest. Bargaining for food being Volstagg’s admitted area of expertise. Despite what the Avengers might have thought, Loki had never cheated Thor, their friends or indeed any one that he knew of. He in fact delighted at being scrupulously honest when making and adhering to deals. After all, where was the fun in besting someone through cheating? Anyone could do it that way. Like SHIELD? In fact, the Captain had been quite put out by his organization, when he had found out that prior to Loki handling the exchanges, SHIELD had been merely been giving Thor the metal value of the gold coins they had exchanged for him. Apparently it pained the good Captain to think that an organization he was involved with would cheat and knowingly take advantage of an Avenger.

The Captain may have been a good man, and even a shrewd man in many matters, but his mind still had trouble wrapping itself around the fact that many of his superior officers, were not.

What may have surprised the Avengers more was that Loki had willingly turned over a good portion of the excess. As Thor was only expecting bullion value, not numismatic, Loki could have very well kept the overage, with none the wiser.

“But why should Loki not have kept the overage on the coins that were his?” Thor had protested when Barton demanded to know why he hadn’t also turned that extra over to Thor. “He gave me the same overage for the coins he exchanged for me. So much so that I still haven’t spent it all.”

This was about the time Banner had quietly suggested that maybe Loki should leave them for a bit. No doubt so they could browbeat the oaf without Loki there to refute whatever ridiculous assumptions they were going to make.

And so they did. Browbeat Thor that was. Apparently, one should not be able to buy a Jaguar F-TYPE S coupe, custom tailored clothing, a Pierre Arpels watch, high dollar electronics… that was most likely Stark… with a monthly allowance. Not that he had, it had also taken the money he’d amassed from carefully, and oh so exclusively, marketing the gold coins he had received as a bribe to put his pants back on.

“I hardly think that’s fair, Thor. After all, I did get extra value for your coins also. Over ten times their bullion worth.” Loki paused as a thought struck him. Not that he thought Thor would ever dare question him on the matter; still, it did pay to be proactive. “Mind you, I will not always be able to sell them for that amount,” he warned. “Even coins from another planet will become less valuable as more of them are sold. But I do have a few ideas of other items we can sell instead.”

“I don’t disagree that it seems unfair,” Thor admitted, apparently not as convinced as the others might have liked. “And I thank you for taking the trouble to find willing merchants not only for your coins but mine also. Perhaps later we could discuss what other items you think we should trade.” The great oaf drew himself up, no doubt in an effort to seem more resolute. “However, the team consensus is that too much money might well lead you to more mischief.”

Despite those admittedly disagreeable words, Loki couldn’t help but feel a delicious curl of warmth blooming in his chest. He was particularly pleased when contemplating his last prank, which was five hundred dollars well spent in his opinion. Barton was still livid about the seventy pounds of micro-fine, iridescent glitter Loki had managed to pour carefully into his gear locker down on the training level. Without, of course, letting Jarvis see him.

 _After_ warding everything he and Thor owned against being similarly being tampered with.

Not that Loki was all that concerned about Thor, but the lack of retaliatory fallout had made sure that the blonde regarded the whole affair as a light hearted lark. Stark had also originally found the whole thing hysterical, particularly when Thor shoved Loki behind him, to save him from being attacked. An outraged Barton had of course bounced off the immovable wall of beef that was Thor. The force of their impact, and momentary grappling, causing Thor to also be covered in the fine glittery power. Sadly, Stark’s mood had soured a bit as the ultra-fine glitter started showing up absolutely everywhere, except for Thor’s floor. No matter how many ‘bots Jarvis dispatched to sweep, dust and vacuum, they couldn’t get it all cleaned up. Stark was only a day away from also calling for Loki’s head, when Loki enchanted the inside of a bucket to attract the stuff. He fastened it to one of Jarvis’ ‘bots to carry it throughout all the affected levels.

Not that Loki cared about aggravating the mouthy mortal… However, Stark _was_ teaching him how to drive. It was something Loki hadn’t really needed, but it did give Stark an opportunity to guide his hand while showing him how to properly shift gears… And swallow thickly when Loki moved his released hand to rest almost on his own crotch. Of course the close fitting silk t-shirt and very tight denim pants his dresser had recommended helped too. As had the dark glasses he’d peered mischievously over when he caught Stark staring.

“Also,” Thor continued, oblivious as always to what his supposed brother was thinking, “as they point out, you are supposed to be learning about mortal concerns, and most of them must learn to budget and get by on more modest means.”

“Like _Stark_?” Loki asked archly, knowing for a fact, that Stark’s fiscal habits or indeed his behavior was not something they thought Loki should emulate.

“Well, no, Stark was born a prince, as we were. Normal mortals like Natasha, Clint, Doctor Banner and the Captain.”

The amount of effort it took for Loki not to groan and clench his head in despair was immense. It was times like this, times when Thor’s sheer determination not to notice hypocrisy or logical disconnects, drove Loki crazy. It was also one of the things that had made him truly, truly fear for Asgard’s future.

_For the love of Ymir, if only Thor would just think a moment!_

Like Barton, Romanoff, Banner and the Captain, Loki was being housed in a Midgardian Place. He had the best of everything being supplied to him, and yet Thor thought that they lived a normal mortal life? And further, he thought that living in Stark’s palace, but under the constraints of a ‘budget’ would allow Loki to know how normal mortals lived?

 _Just thinking about how ludicrous it was, honestly made his head hurt._ However, Loki had no intention of pointing any of this out to the big oaf.

Thor was able to command the loyalty of almost anyone. Even Loki. Time and again, though he knew Thor didn’t value his council as he should, Loki had given him his loyalty. Yes, Thor could inspire a broken army to victory, and a realm to glory. But he would never see past his own experiences unless he was being led by the hand like a toddler. And just like a toddler, the moment you released his hand, he forgot why he was being led in the first place. So there was no sense in Loki even trying to use Thor's short-sightedness on the value of free housing as an object lesson. Particularly, since doing so would undoubtedly result in him having to use part of his newly reduced stipend to contribute to his maintenance and lodging.

“Well, it’s not like I can argue with you on this subject, can I?” Loki said, making sure he sounded at least a little resigned. Apparently, from the suspicious glances Thor directed his way, the great lump had not expected that Loki would so easily accept this decree. A misstep to be sure, which he attempted to correct.He tossed out a few bitter curses and some dramatic pouting to mask his utter indifference to their decree. However, even when Loki retreated, scowling, to his favorite corner to read, Thor still eyed him warily.

_Oh dear._

His clever ruse was apparently being seen through, and Thor was concerned. As well he might, Loki thought with a hidden smirk.

He quietly turned over the pages of the book in front of him ignoring the content as he mulled over the possibly dubious plans he already in motion to promote chaos, while, incidentally, maintaining the elegant life style he had thus far enjoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *********** TAKE NOTE - In these more enlightened, ie. fussy times, glitter bombing is considered and often prosecuted as vandalism. So unless you are already a super villain you might want to pass on trying it. People have been arrested and fired. *****************
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> **As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.**
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> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.
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> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	5. Keeping Tabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki isn't like normal people, and therefore you should not be surprised when he does... stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the my dear Stella (Ykmust) with many lovely suggestions and final beta'd by the extremely marvelous Emu Sam. Without them this would have most likely been a grammar spelling train wreck!

**Chapter 5 – Keeping Tabs**

“So. Where is he this evening?” Natasha asked quietly after joining Tony in his penthouse for smoothies and surveillance. “Have we lost him yet?”

Steve was increasingly joining them in the evenings, concerned not only because he was their team leader, but also because Loki seemed to be spending a lot of time in his old neighborhood, Brooklyn. While the Avengers had been dismayed, they were not really surprised at how thoroughly Loki had stripped and shed every tracking device they’d tried.

Well, except for Tony. The whole thing was making Tony freaking crazy.

Neither using transponder devices to track him, nor reporting Loki’s nocturnal wanderings to Thor in the hopes of stopping them, were working. So, Tony had instructed Jarvis to use CCTV cameras to track the god. Without telling Thor, of course. The Thunderer seemed to think that Odin’s declaration that Loki be allowed free movement was an undeniable part of Loki’s Midgardian service. Also, as far as Thor was concerned, questioning that the precautions Odin had put into place to keep Loki on the straight and narrow was heresy of the highest order. Insofar as Asgard defined it, that was. So letting Thor know that they had doubts about the effectiveness of those precautions was completely out of the question.

At first, the camera tracking had been pretty much hit or miss, but once Tony, Bruce and Jarvis had refined the identification algorithms, and set a few subroutines into play, they worked like a charm. Now, pretty much anytime Loki showed up on an outside camera, the program would ping Jarvis, who would alert them, and start skip tracing him from camera to camera.

Mostly, Loki spent his days reading, sometimes in the common room, to bug whoever was there, and sometimes in his own room. What time he wasn’t reading, the younger god was either shopping for high end items or, more commonly, sitting in various parks, and coffee shops, physically tethering burner phones to a gamer laptop he’d bought, downloading _who_ knows what onto it.

 _Certainly not us_ , Tony groused sourly. Thor blew up coffee machines for crying out loud. Why couldn’t Loki take after his brother? No, he had to be some kind of kin to the Spy Twins.

In addition to the Apple products Loki had bought, that just chapped Tony’s butt to have in his tower, the god had also picked up another non-Stark laptop that had a hardware switch that physically disabled its Wi-Fi connection when not in use. Worse? Every minute he wasn’t using any of them? Everything but his iPhone was turned off and stashed in a Forensic Investigator rated, Faraday duffle Bag. And just to make their lives even more difficult, what time he wasn’t at the tower? The iPhone was _also_ turned off and stashed in the bag too.

By the time Jarvis did locate him visually? That being no easy task since the bastard was able to slip out of the tower without tripping a sensor, and never showed up on a camera until he was a couple of miles away. _But,_ by the time they did find Loki? He was normally packing up and disappearing again before they could pin-point what cell tower his burner phone was using. They had gotten lucky a time or two and at least identified the phone enough to set up an alert the next time it appeared. Unfortunately, Loki had really taken that whole covert thing to heart and only used each phone once. A week or so later, it would surface in the hands of some homeless person or kid who just happened to find it.

Tony was pretty sure that almost everything Loki did during the day was expressly designed to wind them up. Tony himself in particular.

_And hey! It was fucking working!_

But, what happened after Loki had supposedly retired to his own room for the evening? What evidence they could glean from the police reports indicated that some serious shit was going on. Serious enough that, two weeks ago, Tony had started sending out small drones on relatively calm days. He stationed them in places at various parts of what they suspected were Loki’s normal hunting grounds, so the moment the god surfaced, they were in position to physically follow him. In some way this worked out better than he expected, i.e. they were now _pretty_ _sure_ that he was _most likely_ the cause of all those odd police reports. But in some ways it worked out worse because someone, who was definitely not named Tony, was going to have to have a serious talk with Thunder Britches before Capsicle had a meltdown.

“Where is he this evening?” Apparently the red-hair spy has taken an interest.

Tony tapped irritated fingers on the side of his tumbler. “Oh you know, Nat, the usual, strolling along like the biggest piece of bait in Brooklyn. Incapacitating, threatening, and stealing from criminals who try to mug and rob him. No doubt waiting to be attacked, without provocation, by the odd gang member, so he can jack them up against the wall, interrogate them, and then leave them unconscious for the cops he so helpfully calls. After which, he will wave at my damn camera and then disappear right in front of it. Cue a short break, long enough for us to order some chicken tikka masala, lamb madras, with a couple of sides of garlic naan and some Boondhi Raita for Bruce…”

So. Yeah, Tony was hungry for Indian tonight, and anyone that didn’t want to join him could cook for themselves.

“And then…” Tony flung his arms wide, only years of practice and a healthy amount of fear keeping his scotch from splashing the scary redhead. “ _Tah da!_ The leggy bastard will use whatever information he beat out of the gang banger, knock over a drug house, and relieve them of all their money. Again call the cops, beat feet, and somehow waft unseen into my tower, pass my security, put on his jammies and magically re-appear in bed.”

“Tony,” Natasha scolded, scowling slightly and pulling her, thankfully empty, hands out of the pouch of her navy blue hoodie. “Is he still sliding the extending batons out of his sleeves?”

It was strange what Nat picked to focus on, but Tony guessed it was because she used batons too. Of course, while hers didn’t extend, they did have the added bonus of shocking people. Loki’s didn’t, but she was still no doubt jealous of the way Crazy God’s batons could be joined into a staff. And truth be told, also of his mad ninja moves. Nat was good, but if he had to call it, the boy from Asgard might be better. _A lot_ better.

“So. Where is he this evening?” Steve asked quietly. Carrying his ‘cup of joe’, the super solider had a resigned look his face, as if steeling himself for another night of bad news.

Huffing in exasperation, Tony rolled his eyes.

OoooO

Talking to Thor a few days later was interesting, at least. Not helpful or anything, but interesting.

 _Who didn’t know this was going to end badly?_ Tony thought, propping himself, strategically in the door way.

While Spangles was doing his best to remain calm, the longer he and Thor spoke, the more excited Steve became, and the higher red crept up his neck.

“Thor, you can’t seriously tell me that you see nothing wrong with what your brother is doing?” Steve exclaimed gesturing towards the video of Loki fighting a couple of _overly opportunistic youths_. Not that it would have been much of a fight. Loki had centuries of training, and those two sleeve batons that he somehow hooked together to create a bo staff. A weapon the god was currently using to play with the punks who had made the mistake of attacking him.

“But they attacked him,” Thor protested.

“They’re kids,” Steve snapped, the angry red flush creeping up his ears now.

“If they were really kids, wouldn’t they be home sleeping at this hour? Because they had some place socially acceptable to be in the morning, like school maybe?” Tony asked Natasha, who raised a brow in agreement, but declined to encourage him in his quest to needle Steve. Bruce just smiled and shook his head.

Not that Tony was really trying to cause trouble. But he wasn’t exactly avoiding it either. After all, Steve could fuss as much as he wanted to about how Loki should have cut the muggers some slack because they were kids. However, statistically kids were often more dangerous than adults because they were still self-centered assholes who lacked the foresight and maturity to realize the harm they were causing to others for almost no gain. This was in addition to being hormonal, emotional, and more prone to violence. Not to mention thinking they were fricking immortal, a really bad thing to be thinking, when they were going up against someone who actually was. And, not to make excuses for Lolly-P or anything, but the one kid _had_ pulled a gun.

“You said that Loki should not have been in this neighborhood in the first place because it is a dangerous area, correct?” Thor pressed doggedly. If it had been Tony, he would have stopped arguing with the Asgardian right now. They were obviously in deep cultural difference waters without a paddle, and Thor was sporting a righteous gleam in his eyes, the one that Cap usually had.

“Well yeah, but – ”

“By repeatedly engaging the brigands in this area, he is reducing their number, and keeping them from preying on those who cannot easily defend themselves. Yes?”

“He is also robbing them, and invading drug houses and stealing from them too,” Steve snapped, finally goaded into losing his temper by how Asgard’s Crown Prince refused to see why this was wrong.

Thor frowned a bit over that one. Drawing himself to his full height, he crossed his arms over his chest and the stroked a thumb across his lower lip pensively. After another loop of video, showing Loki whacking the gun out of Punk One’s hand, before reversing his staff and sweeping the feet out from under Punk Two, the older god apparently decided to double check a few things. “The people Loki has been engaging, they normally prey upon those weaker than themselves or sell illegal and harmful substances, is that not so?”

“Thor,” Natasha interrupted before Steve could work himself up into Righteous Anger Mode. “Loki hasn’t killed anyone yet, at least not that we know of. But if he continues, it is only a matter of time before it does happen.”

“I fail to see what is wrong with his quests,” The big blonde protested. “He is saving the villagers from injury and theft, trussing up those engaged in illegal activities and alerting your law enforcement officers so they can collect evidence, arrest the brigands according to your customs, and dispose of the harmful substances.” Thor beamed happily at them. “Mother and Father are no doubt getting reports of his valiant deeds from Heimdall as we speak.”

A strangled noise, that could have been a called a cough if you were charitably inclined, escaped Bruce.

“Alrighty then.” Tony snorted. Unlike Bruce, he was not even bothering to hide his snickering. Steve looked like he was about to pop a gasket. And honestly? Tony loved when Thor was winding up anyone but him. The guy always acted so guileless, but anyone related to Loki had to have studied enough to get that down to a fine art, yeah?

“And the money he is liberating from the drug pushers and muggers? Your folks would be okay with that too?” Tony questioned in a cheerful tone, because, why the hell not? Nothing so far had made sense the last few weeks, not the clandestine computer searches or the Asgardian vigilante thing, but at least between this, and surreptitiously copping a few feels on Mister Loki of Hollywood while redesigning his battle suit, Tony hadn’t been bored. Incredibly horny maybe, but definitely not bored.

Thor’s voice could not have been any more matter-of-fact. “Friend Tony, if you slay the dragon that has been threatening the townsfolk, you get to plunder his hoard.” Just from listening to cadence of his delivery, you knew that all kinds of internal eye rolling was going on at how clueless Earthgardians were about proper questing etiquette.

There was also a moment of silence for a little internal eye rolling from Earthgardians upon hearing about dragons.

_Of-fucking-course. Alien gods, alien realms, yeah, here be dragons after all._

“Although….” Thor suddenly frowned, and for the first time this evening, there was a hint that something about Loki’s actions would perhaps not meet with one hundred percent Asgardian Approval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even if you are reading this after it originally posted... I do take note of which stories have staying power. So if something caught your attention here, do let me know. It will help me decide what to work on next. 
> 
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	6. Show me the Money!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Thor is concerned about is not what Steve would consider important. It's an Asgard thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the ever patient Stella (Ykmust) with many thanks for her suggestions and final beta'd by Emu Sam the bad grammar slayer. And yes. I suck enough that it takes two Beta's to make me marginally readable.

**Chapter 6 – Show me the money**

“Jarvis said you wanted to speak to me?” Loki asked, delicately raising a brow as he walked into the common floor living room. His demeanor clearly showed that while they may have wanted to talk to Loki, the reverse could not be said for him wanting to converse with them.

Everyone was present, except of course for Clint, who, according to Nat, was currently stationed on the west coast and would be back in a month or so. But only if he could promise Coulson that he could be in the same room without baiting or trying to shoot Loki. Not that Fury also hadn’t wanted to kill the Asgardian. While Tony would never admit it out loud, Lolly-P’s latest retaliation scheme had been pretty funny. A Time Square billboard playing a drunken Clint singing at last year’s Christmas Party? Hell, Tony had only thought it was funny when it had originally happened. But watching it six stories high?

_Sheer Trickster Gold._

Hell, how had the god had even known about Clint’s, ‘ _I Have Super Powers Too’_ song? And once he’d found out about it? How the fuck did he come up with a high def copy? Yet another question that went on the Avenger’s ‘ ** _WTF Is Loki Doing’_** list.

Of course it did make for a ton of money in the ‘ ** _When is Barton going to get a clue that being mouthy and pissing off the Fucking God of Mischief was never going to be a good idea’_** pool they were running.

 _Pool names admittedly_ _were_ _not Tony’s strong point. Or any names really, hence all the StarkWhatever designations in SI’s product line up._

Every time it looked like Clint was going to make the two week mark so they could declare a pool winner… The man did something stupid, like broadcasting ‘ _Let it go’_ over the QuinJet’s loud speakers and dedicating it to Loki while landing them at an Avenger’s public relations event. That, of course, made the drunk Clint retaliation video shown in Times Square not all that surprising. Honestly, the two of them went at each other like a couple of high school kids.

“Well, get on with it, Thor,” Loki huffed, shifting a cuff and shooting a glance at his Pierre Arpels Platine watch. The severely styled black lacquer and platinum watch was the only thing a person with style would wear, as Tony had been haughtily informed when he’d asked why Loki hadn’t bought a Rolex. Apparently, at least according to the Trickster, Rolexes were too gaudy and Cartiers were too pretentious for a man of discerning taste.

_Asshole. Tony liked his Rolexes. He did, however, completely agree with Loki’s assessment of Cartiers._

But asshole, snob or whatever,Tony found it hard to really hate someone who looked that fucking gorgeous.He sighed to himself. His damn weakness for pretty things and smoldering glances was undoubtedly going to be the end of him someday.

 _But,_ Tony thought as he again admired Loki’s high cheek bones, imagining how it would feel to have those long, deceptively delicate looking fingers stroking him intimately, w _hat_ _a way to go huh?_

“It is late, Thor. Some of us have things to do in the morning and would like to get some sleep,” the younger god drawled as he serenely smoothed the sleeve of his tailored jacket with those bewitching hands of his. Acting completely unconcerned, he sat in the chair indicated by Steve as if he had not been out all night committing assault and theft all evening.

Or rather, ‘questing’, if the other Avengers had decided to drink the Asgardian Kool-Aid and go with Thor’s view of the incidents.

Apparently, Thor deciding just how to start the conversation-slash-interrogation ball rolling took too long for Steve.

“Jarvis, please show the video we’ve compiled of Loki’s activities in Bedford–Stuyvesant. Also, if you split the screens, please put the list of potential offenses up on the other one, if you would.”

“As you wish, Captain Rogers,” Jarvis replied as multiple windows of video and the requested information appeared on the room’s giant one hundred and ten inch screen.

As Steve’s very careful recital of events rapidly slid towards a rant, Tony couldn’t help but be amused by how absolutely gleeful the younger god was growing in the face of Rogers’ increasingly accusatory monologue.

_Like a kid in a candy store._

“Steve?” Bruce interjected placidly. “I think maybe you need to let Thor handle this for a minute.” The unspoken but very clear, ‘ _At least until you calm down a bit,_ ’ was easily heard by the others, and most likely responsible for the devilishly curly smile Lolly-p was now sporting.

“Yes. Well.” Thor rubbed the back of his neck, eyeing his obviously delighted brother uneasily. Taking a deep breath, his voice heavy with older brother harmonics, he sternly asked, “Loki, in what manner did you divide the spoils?”

“ _Say what!?”_ Steve ejaculated.

Even Nat turned her head sharply at Thor. Despite the poker face, Tony could tell Natasha was _majorly not impressed._

Tony wanted to howl at what Point Break considered the most important item to be discussed. Fuck the muggers being scythed down and put in the hospital by Loki and his madly twirling staff. Or worse? The godling stealing huge amounts of money. Admittedly from dangerous drug dealers, but still… No, Thor’s most important issue was the distribution of the booty. It was pretty hysterical, even if it was only in a _‘is this really fricken happening’_ kind of way.

Looking like he was going to burst a blood vessel, Steve's mouth was spasming. He appeared to be having trouble decided who exactly he wanted to yell at. Loki for being a thieving thug, or Thor for being clueless. Natasha merely lifted a brow, and Bruce... Bruce really did need to see somebody about that cough of his.

“Thor!”

“Bide, Steven,” the large Asgardian rumbled, not taking his gaze from Loki.

“Spoils, Thor?” Loki laughed delightedly. “Well, it is gratifying to have correctly confirmed your priorities.” Tony growled as the younger god pulled out his iPhone and poked at it a few times and then slid it back into his inner jacket pocket.

“Brother--”

Loki held up a slender finger, indicating that they should wait a moment. “Jarvis,” he purred in a voice that had way too much vibrato for Tony’s peace of mind, “when you have received it, would you display the file I sent you.”

“Displaying now, sir,” Jarvis said, tossing a spreadsheet of all things, up on to the screen. One that, interestingly enough, showed just how much money the young god had been raking in with his ‘Vigilante Questing.' It was a more than they had figured. _A lot_ more.

And much to Thor’s apparent approval, if no one else’s, the figures showed that half of all the cash taken in by the god had been spent purchasing items for various charities.

“So why not just donate the money to the charities?” Natasha asked skimming down the list of various items.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Would that I could, Lady Romanoff, it would make my life much easier.” He sighed deeply, going into full diva mode, and doing everything except placing the back of his hand to his forehead. "However, I do not want to risk embroiling the charities in any burdensome tax reporting issues. Also, our beloved Captain here is not very fond of some of the overhead practices that certain charities use. So I actually have to find out what they need, and then provide it.”

“Wait,” Steve turned from the screen to shoot a confused look at Loki. “Why does it matter what I think?”

“I would think it obvious, my dear Captain Rogers. In your honor, the area I am concentrating on is your original home, yes? In addition to making it marginally safer, I am also making all the donations to groups in that area.” He smiled gently at the now very confused Steve. “And doing so in your name, of course.”

Steve leapt up as if struck by a pin. “What!”

“Shhhh. Trust me, Captain Rogers, it is all quite above board I assure you,” Loki lulled. “Or sufficiently so, I understand.” The god spoke in what was obviously supposed to be a calming manner. But in actuality, his soothing, slightly dismissive tones had the same effect as lighter fluid being poured on an open flame.

_As if the little shit didn’t know it would._

“Trust _you_? To make donations in _my_ name?!” Steve’s voice was a strangled squeak. He swallowed and tried again, this time successfully dropping his voice to a low wrathful bass. Not that the god appeared to notice. “You are stealing and using the ‘ _stolen’_ money to make donations in _my_ name and you want me to trust you? Are you insane?!” He turned furiously, glaring down at the slender god.

Tony was not the least bit surprised that an obviously livid Captain America didn’t seem to faze the god in the slightest. While Thor, jumping up and standing protectively behind the amused godling’s chair might have had something to do with his relaxed manner, Tony didn’t think that was totally why.

“I thought you said he was a calm and rational man?” Loki asked, tipping his head back to look up at his nominally named brother, gifting the older god with a sickeningly sweet and completely false smile.

And, not incidentally, showcasing the long sculpted column of his throat that Tony had been having disturbing visions of sucking and biting on.

Tony’s eyes narrowed slightly in pain as he bit back a moan.

And, as inconspicuously as he could, he sidled over to the bar to pour himself some mental stabilization. Whisky, cask strength.

“And the Questing Toasts?” Thor asked looking down. Loki waved his hand in a negligible manner before replying in a bored, ‘ _do you really need to ask’,_ sort of tone.

“Yes, Thor, I paid for them out of my share. However, since overindulging in spirits can be a problem for mortals, I didn’t want to take the chance of an innocent becoming drunk and getting injured.” Loki plinked his Raven amulet and gave his brother a meaningful look. “So instead of buying rounds at a tavern, I paid for six months’ worth of coffee for the Bowery Mission, which is in Captain Roger’s beloved Brooklyn.” He smiled sweetly at Steve. “Also donated in the Captain’s name.”

“Wonderful,” Thor boomed, gifting the Avengers with a huge grin. “I knew that Loki would not keep more than his fair share of the recovered plunder.” Bruce gave another strangled cough, Loki rolled his eyes dramatically.

Rogers’ face was almost totally scarlet, while the knuckles of his clenched fists were white with strain.

The Thunder god however, was beaming. Apparently his only real concern with Loki’s behavior had been that the ‘hoard’ be properly shared out. A few quiet questions from Bruce elicited the information that there was a recommended scale depending on rank. And Loki keeping less than half? That was considered a royally generous distribution, pleasing Thor as much as it disturbed Steve.

While still incredibly hard to read, Natasha seemed to be looking very thoughtful. But hey, at least they had finally solved the mystery of where Robin Goodfellow was getting the money to maintain his life style and gently fuck with them. Giant electronic billboards rented for an entire day not being cheap, after all.

Shaking his head, Tony looked up at the list Jarvis was displaying. Art supplies for a borough-wide after-school program for under-privileged children, prepaid debit cards for kids aging out of a community residence program, Associated Supermarket gift cards for at-risk seniors, Dell Academic Edition Chromebooks with touch screen upgrades for the Adolescent Diversion Progr—

_What the fuck!_

**_“NO!”_** Tony howled, so loud that Bruce started and Steve spun around to look at him amazed. “ ** _Again with the off brands, Rudolph?!”_**

 _Loki’s habit of absolutely avoiding Stark products was…_ Well, it was pissing aggravating is what it was.

Much to Tony chagrin, it was enough to make him stamp his foot like a five year old, an act that evidently amused Bruce, Natasha, and Loki before Tony even realized what he was doing.

“Tony,” Steve said sternly, sounding very much like the prissy principal of your choice. “Loki is committing crimes and using the money to buy stuff in my name and you are worrying about whose tech he purchases?” The lean god with mile long legs had already turned to face Stark directly, touching his lips with those elegant pianist fingers. And screw Tony if he didn't suspect the mirth in those emerald eyes has gone up another level.

“Stuff it, Spangles,” Tony hissed, glaring at the smugly smiling god in question. “This is between me and Snape.”

The older Asgardian chuckled, causing Loki to narrow his eyes and frown up questionably at him. “I’ll explain later,” Thor rumbled, eyes twinkling merrily, overjoyed apparently at knowing something his learned little brother didn’t.

Natasha lifted a shapely brow of disapproval. “Don’t you think your company makes enough money, Tony? Missing a sale isn’t going to put you out of business.”

“Not the point, Red. What are people going to think when word gets out that Spangles is donating someone else’s tech?”

“They’ll think entry level comps are a good match for kids to do homework on.” She flicked a glance at practically hyperventilating Steve.

In a way, this made Tony really jealous. As mad as he had managed to make Steve, Tony had never been able to get him so visibly riled. And he had tried really, really hard. So how was it that Lolly-p was able to just waltz his finely muscled ass through the door and managed it so easily? Totally not fair.

“Actually, Tony, the point is, and has always been... Why Loki is doing this in the first place,” Steve ground out.

Snapping his fingers, because right now that was so not the point, Tony recalled them to the conversation-slash-argument in the making with a low growl. “Seriously, Lolly, what is it going to take for you to get with the Stark product line?!”

Loki rolled his eyes and started ticking off his fingers. “A better price point? Educational and Multi-unit discounts for small donor purchases? Entry level products?” Tony, completely and totally justifiably outraged, was about to retort that entry level computers were crap when Loki rolled right over him. “Additionally, Stark, I was entreated not to purchase anything that would incite peer envy or encourage theft.” He shrugged. “And for reasons I truly cannot fathom, your companies' tech products seem to do so.”

 _Okay… That was almost a compliment._ Not that Tony was preening or anything. Still, chin raised, Tony’s lips tightened as he walked over closer to study the slippery god before him. Metaphorically speaking of course, since Tony had yet to entice the Asgardian into his hot tub. Or shower, even. Visions of soap suds… _Abort. Abort. Start speaking. Something, anything. Misuse of magic?_

“You’re good, Kimmy Cub, but I am thinking that you still have to be using a bit of something else. What with the disappearing and all that. So either your alternate magic solar panels pack some serious juice… Or, Thor’s assertion that you can’t tap your mojo when you aren’t fighting for us is utter bull.”

Taking advantage of the fact that Steve had move a pace or two away from him while Tony had screamed, Loki stood. Twitching his jacket into a beautiful line with only the smallest of movements, he gave Tony a wide friendly smile that was amazingly devoid of even the least hint of derision. It was an expression Tony hadn’t until this moment ever seen on the god.

_And seeing it this up-close was totally not helping. Particularly those damn lips of his._

“Don’t be daft, Stark. I can use my magic to help people. That includes being invisible, so I can continue to come and go freely while I fight crime.” Having reclaimed Steve’s attention, Loki sketched a bow in his direction. “Using my magic to help our Captain’s beloved Brooklyn is well within the scope of my restrictions.”

“And the eight pallets of tea that suddenly took over my entire living room?” Bruce asked. Tony had no doubt that Bruce was still scarred by the memories of how long it took him to figure out what to do with one hundred and forty-four large wooden boxes of loose tea. Apparently, it had all been high quality, very expensive, and not to be wasted tea, but still. Thankfully that mess had been Bruce’s to sort out, not Tony’s.

“Ah. Since there was no smiting of evil doers, or savings of innocents, that was not something I could use my native powers to accomplish.” But Loki’s face still scrunched happily, he looked for all the world like a child who had just been told he was getting a puppy. Most likely, at the memory of Bruce scrambling to find a tea distributer to take the stuff off his hands. Of course, on the plus side, with his store credit, it would be years before Bruce had to pay for tea again.

Loki winked saucily at Bruce and continued, “As you are well aware, it was all certified organic and fair trade. And while I may have taken the liberty of adding a few dozen boxes of more exotic teas to the mix, for the most part you must admit that they were all teas you had listed in the kitchen as ones you liked.”

“So you used alter-magic to get it into place without anyone knowing about it,” Tony said. “Good trick that.”

Sliding towards the elevators, Loki _allowed_ a puzzled expression to flash across his face, before he dipped his head briefly and flashed a grin at Tony.

_Wait. What? No alter-magic? Then how--_

“Wait!” Steve called, unconsciously echoing Tony’s thoughts. “Why did you decide to adopt Brooklyn as your personal crime reduction project? And why drag me into it?”

“Why, Captain Rogers,” Loki purred, while absently pressing the elevator call button. “During my first public appearance with you in Brooklyn, did you not tell the assembled Crime Watch volunteers to, 'Trust in God and your abilities and you can make a difference in the world _'_ _?_ ”

Tony, biting his lips to suppress a grin, took a deep breath and turned to look at Steve. Steve looked blank for a long moment. They could all tell the exact moment he figured out what context Loki was using for the word _god_.

Steve sputtered angrily as said god stepped into the elevator. “Damn it Loki. You know I wasn’t taking about you!”

“How could I not reward your touching faith in me?” Loki said with a smirk as he disappeared behind closing doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you reading at a later date... Please allow me to point out that your comments are what keep me writing. So please visit the little comment box before you flip to the next chapter.  
> .  
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	7. A fun time was had by all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Tasha, Coulson, and Steve... Oh. My.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who commented, kudo'd and bookmarked. :)
> 
> This fic was made possible by the mad Beta'ing skills of the ever suggestive Stella (Ykmust) and wonderful final beta'd by Emu Sam. You both Rock!

**Chapter 7 – A fun time was had by all**

It was only a week later, while the rest of the team was off doing various things, many of them in different states, that Tony found himself watching television alone with the younger Asgardian. And, in a development that totally took Tony by surprise, he and Loki ended up side by side on the couch snarking back at the large screen. The only discord between them was arguing over who was monopolizing the popcorn bowl, and Loki finding out who Snape was. That had earned Tony a smack to the back of the head.

By the end of the first movie in their Harry Potter marathon, they were sprawled all over each other, each trying to hog as much of the couch as they could. After spending the whole of the second movie covertly stroking each other, the god finally melted against him, demanding to be kissed. One thing led to another and Tony had quickly had that lithe body completely naked and spread out under him. He had curled both hands under Loki’s perfect ass and was kissing, licking and nipping his way down a perfectly shaped abdomen and doing all manner of sinful things before they both finally collapsed in a boneless heap for some much needed rest…

A finger poking persistently at his shoulder roused him from the deepest sleep Tony’d had for weeks. “Wha--” he demanded groggily. Batting the annoying poker feebly with his hand, he tried to sink back to sleep.

“Damn it, Stark,” Loki fussed, pushing him roughly upright. “How many times do I have to move you? Ewww! Did you drool on me?” Loki’s normally dulcet tones were dripping with disgust as brushed irritably at his shirt, wiping his damp hand on the arm of Tony’s shirt. Tony could hear Clint cackling in the background.

“Yeah. You got to watch that when Tony falls asleep and decides to use you for a pillow,” Bruce said with a smirk.

OoooO

Half the time the people in the tower couldn’t decide if they wanted to kill Loki or kiss him. Or maybe that was just Tony.

At any rate, two days after the movie drooling incident, their lovely morning was enlivened by Nat trying to shoot the bastard. An enchanted hairbrush, one that changed the strands it touched to a different color every time it was run through hair? Apparently, did not please the assassin. By the time she had looked into a mirror, Natasha’s hair was so many different colors she looked like Starlite, that stupid, narcissistic, Rainbow Brite pony.

_And no, Tony will not admit to occasionally watching it with the cook’s daughter when he was a kid._

At any rate, Tony took one look at Nat storming past him, barked a laugh before he could cover his mouth, and then quickly bolted to his lab and put it on lockdown. He didn’t want his life cut tragically short for laughing at a gun-toting, world-class assassin. He just was glad he’d had the foresight to make all of the tower’s cameras high def.

Bullets bouncing off some kind of force field, was the first indication the god had, of an enraged Russian wanting to maim him. Bullets ricocheted across the kitchen as the Trickster’s face lit up with unholy glee. Half eaten bowl of cereal abandoned, Loki whipped out his phone to snap a picture of Natasha’s multi-hued hair before vanishing. It was perhaps three hours later that she gave up hunting for the Trickster God. Another hour after that, the tower in general, and poor Thor in particular, were subjected to near constant shrieks of rage when she discovered that mortal hair dye wouldn’t stick to magically colored tresses. Two days later, possibly in response to heartfelt pleas by a beleaguered Thor, an instruction sheet detailing how to adjust the brush so it output the desired color, appeared on Nat’s bed as a peace offering.

Or rather, as much a peace offering as it could be when the Trickster had once again bypassed both Tony’s tower security and Nat’s much-upgraded personal security, to breeze in and out of her apartment unnoticed.

While Natasha had accepted what passed for an apology from him, she still couldn’t resist smacking Loki hard across the back of the head every time she saw him for the next week.

“Ow,” the Trickster said mildly without looking up from his book.

“I think the Lady Natasha is still wroth with you for enchanting her hair brush brother,” Thor observed, looking up from a report he was filling out for Coulson.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Thor,” Loki huffed, glancing only briefly at his brother before turning back to his book. “As a spy, Agent Romanoff is well aware of the value of being able to instantly change her hair to any hue she desires.”

“Then why--”

“She is vexed that her number in my phone now has a much more colorful picture attached to it.”

OoooO

Even though he knew it shouldn’t, Loki just pissed Steve off some days. Or, if the super soldier was going to be truthful, most days. And it wasn’t even the pranks that he pulled on the team; Lord knows Steve was used to that from the Army. Between Howard at the base, and Commandos in the field, somebody was always goofing around, starting stuff. Often times for no reason other than being bored.

_No._

What Steve really hated, was the way that Loki could sling the smooth talk, manipulating everyone. Like that sappy ‘Mind Controlled and Tortured’ interview he did a few months ago with Christiane Amanpour to kick off what Tony called Loki’s ‘Redemption Tour’. Sheesh, even people at this closed hearing who should have known better seemed to be halfway buying the Trickster’s bull.

And kids? Heck, kids loved him. He conjurered up illustrations that floated in mid-air, and told the younger ones stories of when he and Thor were kids. He also did something weird with paper so that when the kids tapped it and said _‘Mischief Maker’,_ the paper disappeared in a puff of smoke that reformed into a small transparent Avenger that dashed above everyone’s head for a few moments. There had even been a news story about one of his small fans unrepentantly kicking a state representative for saying ‘ _mean things’_ about Loki, and the Avengers.

_And no, he did not think that it was funny to see them referenced that way in the media, no matter how many times Tony laughed about them sounding like a cheesy music group from the fifties._

Although Loki and the Avengers was the only way that Loki was part of the group. What with Loki adamantly refusing to allow himself to be listed as or referred to as an Avenger. Even with stuff like Avengers licensed products, Loki had adamantly refused to be part of the team. Instead, he had somehow got his own line produced: t-shirts, action figures, and lunch boxes sporting sayings like _Loki of Sassgard, Mischief Incarnate,_ and _I do what I want._

 _Join Loki’s Army_ , was the one that really ticked Steve off. And it didn’t really help to have Bruce quietly reminding him about all the ‘ _Loki commands you to READ_ ’ shirts and posters that the god had donated. Apparently, school librarians just loved him. Fury and Steve? Not so much, but for much different reasons. Only some of them having anything to do with the Trickster’s licensed line of lingerie.

In fact, just thinking about the guy made Steve’s head hurt. And he really wished Tony would hurry up with Loki’s new armor, because Loki took every call to assemble as an opportunity to debut a new cool look. One that would inevitably end up ‘trending’ on Twitter or Facebook or wherever the older kids were hanging these days.

 _Cool_ , Steve thought disgustedly, watching Loki on the other side of the room. The god was leaning down and whispering something in Senator Harash’s ear. Stiffening, the senator looked up at a smiling Loki, and then hurried off to urgently speak to a few of his colleagues.

Steve shot a concerned glance at Coulson, who merely curled up one corner of his mouth, giving Steve a small head shake as he continued to watch the Asgardian work the crowd.

After watching Loki charm, flatter, and no doubt threaten the various elected officials, Steve really wasn’t surprised that the hearing was de-railed before it even started. It was supposed to be an examination of the Avengers autonomy, to the extent that they had allowed an ex-enemy combatant to join their ranks. Instead, it turned into a more general discussion on how to achieve communication improvement between the Avengers and elected officials.

OoooO

“What did you threaten them with?” Steve asked tiredly on the flight back to New York.

“Which ones?” Loki asked calmly, not bothering to hide his underlying amusement as he looked up from his tablet.

“Loki, you can’t go around threatening the Senate Oversight Committee!”

Lifting an unconcerned brow at Steve’s outrage, Loki waved a hand dismissively. “Oh please Captain Rogers, I have been dealing with fractious office holders for longer than your country has existed. Of course you don’t threaten **_all_** of them,” he said with gentle indignation, as if offended that Steve would ever think him that ham handed. “If you do that, they’ll join against you. Some I did threaten with releasing information that I’ve just happened upon, some I cajoled, and two of them, I merely promised their grandchildren exclusive invitations as my personal guest at the next Avenger’s function.”

In response to Steve’s searing glare, and wordless demand to ‘ ** _do something_** ,’ Coulson merely smirked and turned back to his reports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	8. It takes us a while to get any traction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But when we do.... Look out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! More bribery. So here ya go, another early chapter. :D Many thanks to all who commented, kudo'd and bookmarked... I could do this the rest of the week. What about you guys? :)
> 
> As always this fic was brought to you in a more polished state through the many talents of Stella (Ykmust) and Emu Sam. Beta's Rock!

**Chapter 8 – It takes us a while to get any traction.**

Okay. So Tony could admit that he was having a seriously hard time not thinking about how fine the younger Odinson looked naked. Not that he would ever admit that he had Jarvis save copies of the QuinnJet security vids from **_that_** day. But he was pretty sure Natasha knew. At any rate, the shot of Loki bending over as he stepped out of his slacks… Totally Tony’s personal favorite. Not only did that one show those wide other worldly shoulders dipping down to a sculpted waist, but as the god had bent over it highlighted his very fine ass… And, as an added bonus, it also caught Steve doing his best to turn into a tomato.

Heck, Tony could even admit _privately_ , and again, maybe to Natasha if she held a gun to his head, that in addition to his height, Loki’s _other_ proportions were of a godly nature. Couple that with the drone vids… And didn’t Tony sweat upping the resolution on their cameras until they were to his personal viewing standards… The god was riveting entertainment, at least in Tony’s opinion. Although he suspected that Loki could more than propel a YouTube channel to profitability.

 _Best not to let Lolly know that though,_ Tony decided after another moment’s thought. _Director Agent would have a fit._

At any rate, Tony found the slender god very entertaining. On multiple levels, even.

_Georgeous, sexy, smart and snarky? Lolly-p was like Tony’s personal final four of wet dreams._

His private servers had the naked thing as well as hours and hours of Loki on the streets of Brooklyn, doing his helpless, effeminate shtick, and then flowing into a sliding, panther-esque dance of retribution. Tony had watched them more times that he could count, admiring the not only the younger god’s form, but also Loke’s attention to detail as he later gathered up any incriminating evidence, made sure it could be easily found, cased the joints quickly and efficiently for other evidence or valuables, before finally snatching up the latter as well as all the cash. All before calling the authorities and waiting somewhere out of sight until they got there.

_Although Tony really did wish the crooks would clean their windows a little better. He had considered, purely as an intellectual exercise, and then reluctantly discarded, incorporating tiny window washer attachments on the drones._

At any rate, Lolly was such a gorgeous, smart, graceful, sneaky, three-steps-ahead-fucking-bastard, that Tony knew it was true love. Or, it would be if he could ever get the god past _first_ base.

“Stark?”

“Hummm?”

“How long are you going to be checking the seam placement on my inner thigh?” Tony glanced up guiltily, trying to fight down his embarrassment before it actually showed. Pink was so not his color.

_Okay. So zoning out while doing a final fitting of Lolly-p’s new uniform? Arguably not his finest hour._

“Hey, stitching strength is more important than people think,” Tony said as offhandedly as he could manage, running a hand down the seam he was supposedly checking until he could pat the inside of Loki’s knee. He stood up. “Split pants totally reduce a Super Hero’s cool factor.” Tony plucked a finely tooled Kevlar reinforced black leather jacket off its stand and handed it to the god. “There ya go. One Assassin Creed-ish long front jacket guaranteed to cover your godly jewels.”

Reaching for the Jacket, Loki examined it a moment and then glance sidelong at the goatee’d engineer. “And yet it is short waisted in the back why?”

Doing his damnest to hide a smile Tony gave Loki his best poker face. “Duh. For ease of movement? So you can do all those swinging, swirling, dipping moves you like to do? Why do you think?”

“Stark, I have been fighting with a knee length or longer, armored jacket since your ancestors first decided that iron was better than bronze.” He fixed Tony with a penetrating stare. “Try again.”

Not that he didn’t think Lo wasn’t smart enough to figure out when someone was trying to give him a snow job. The guy was scary smart. In a way he almost felt bad for Thor, what with having to put up with Loki seeing right through him all those centuries.

“Fine. How about because you have one of the finest behinds I have ever seen on a guy? Barring, maybe, that Ivan Vasiliev Pepper liked so much. Although…” Tony pause a moment to give this statement some consideration. “Me? I think you’d give the guy a good run for his money.” Ignoring the somewhat quizzical look he was getting Tony plowed on. “Anyhow, it would be a sin to cover up that behind of yours. Hell, if it distracts the bad guys half as much as it does me, we won’t have to worry about taking them out. They’ll so busy watching your ass, they’ll never notice us sneaking up to blast them."

“Indeed,” Loki said with a deadpan expression, but before he turned away to put on the jacket, Tony did notice a little gleam of amusement in his eyes. Somewhere an over worked pre-school teacher was missing her ‘Lord give me strength’ expression. And Tony knew just the god it had wandered off to.

“And the asymmetrical long bit in the front?”

 _Oh god, when he purrs,_ groaned Tony silently as warmth pooled in places he really didn’t want it to _. Embarrassing_ _places_.

Clamping a lid down on those thoughts, Tony managed to keep his voice relatively snarky.

“Well, anything that is going to let you move the way you need to, is not going to be strong enough to hold you—“

“High and tight?”

“Yeah. Exactly. And as distracting as that would be to the bad guys— and trust me it would — I am afraid it would mean your hot body on a few more magazine covers. Which, while I could totally be down with that, as could your growing legion of fans, would mean Coulson visiting me with that fricken taser he is so fond of.”

This startled a laugh out of the god. A genuine one. After shrugging on the jacket, Loki quickly fastened it. One sinuous turn later, using a vid screen Jarvis threw up in lieu of a mirror, the god was checking the jacket’s fit. Tony, of course, was admiring it up close and personal, knowing Jarvis would save him video in case he wanted to study it more closely later.

Suddenly knives appeared out of nowhere and Loki flowed into a complicated ninja routine. With steel slashing every which way, when it wasn’t being flipped or tossed in a complicated pattern, the god quick-stepped around the lab. It was like watching something out of an old swashbuckler movie. Loki leapt up on tables, danced across various projects, did a forward roll down on the floor, and brushed so close to Tony that it left him breathless. The god finished up by completely diving over another work table, and coming up empty-handed. Loki’s knives, having disappeared to fuck knows where, left his hands empty to make a few complicated gestures, and then the barbed staff he favored when Avenger’ing appeared. The show he put on with that, made the previous one look like a kindergarten dance class warm-up.

Okay. So that whole poetry in motion thing was completely cliché. However cliché or not, Loki’s lithe body swinging one way while his staff moved almost independently in another, was fucking mesmerizing.

And hot.

_Really, really hot._

Particularly when he sprang off the wall and up onto a crowded work bench, only to gazelle onto an even more crowded work bench, his staff swung into various attack positions, as his foot work still didn’t displace anything breakable.

Much to the relief of a wide-eyed-and-not-breathing Tony.

Apparently pleased with the fit of his new body armor, Loki did a back step dismount and looked happily over his shoulder at a now slack-jawed Tony. The god’s brow crinkled slightly for the briefest moment before his smile was replaced with something showing a lot more teeth. Staff disappearing, Loki’s movements became decidedly predatory as he flowed around a stunned Tony, so close that their clothes brushed.

Loki really did not need to be rubbing up against him like that. Tony had _needs_ , dammit. _Burning lustful needs._ The kind of needs that setting up a date with your right hand just couldn’t take care of. Not that Tony hadn’t tried that, numerous times in fact.

“Much, much better than your first attempt,” the god said, pressed against Tony’s back purring into his ear.

_Ugggh. Again with the purring thing._

“Y---Yeah.” Tony swallowed heavily, shaking himself mentally before continuing. “The first one was a pretty dick move on my part, I’ll admit.”

Loki continued slide around until he was facing Tony, and bending down slightly so he could touch their foreheads together. “Indeed.” Lazily hooded green eyes regarded him closely. “But I will say this outfit is an excellent start as an apology.”

Swallowing hard, Tony bit his bottom lip nervously. The tension between him and Loki had been building for the last several weeks. It started with Tony feeling flattered that the god had, for reasons known only to himself, played practical jokes on everybody except Tony. But then Tony had noticed as much as he was watching Loki, Loki seem to be watching him also.

The two had gone through the preliminaries: pointed glances, sly innuendos, a little surreptitious brushing against each other while passing in tight quarters. Even a little surreptitious brushing against each other when quarters weren’t _that_ tight. Most recently, Tony practically groped the god as he did the final fitting for Loki’s armor. They had danced around what seemed to be their mutual attraction for so long, that Tony was pretty sure he was going to lose it if he didn’t get Loki stripped down and in his bed soon. Or over a lab table in the next ten minutes. Right now Tony was far too hot and bothered to be picky about location, and extending the time table out past thirty minutes might lead to his death from terminal blue balls.

Brushing upwards on Loki’s cheek with the back of his fingers, Tony could see an answering look of need. Tucking a few stray, silky strands of hair behind the god’s ear, Tony stroked Loki’s cheek with his thumb, delighting in both the smoothness of his skin and how the god curled into his touch. Loki’s contented humming vibrated, with an almost electric tingle, right down Tony’s spine and straight into his already half stiff cock.

Deciding it was now or never, Tony pressed up against Loki, thrilled that he wasn’t the only one getting hard. Wishing he was just a bit taller, Tony peered up and watched as Loki’s emerald eyes fluttered shut.

Holding the god close as they slid against each other, warmth settled deep in his belly. After a frustrating intense moment, he leaned back just a bit and gazed unabashedly; godly brows were slightly furrowed, and Loki’s lower lip was caught between his teeth as he concentrated, making him look suddenly years younger, and completely adorable. Tony couldn’t keep himself from rising on tip toes and tugging Loki down, scattering kisses all over the god’s face, starting with his nose.

Apparently that action broke the ice. The next thing Tony knew, he had been whirled around, lifted up onto a nearby table, knees pushed apart, and Loki pressed close and insinuated a cool hand inside the back of Tony’s mysteriously already undone blue jeans.

_Holy –_

Lollipops were not the only thing that Loki was good sucking on. Head swimming from lack of oxygen, Tony pulled away from Loki’s mouth while he still had breath in his body. Hurriedly unfastening the body armor he had just finished creating, Tony quickly managed to slip it off the god. Admittedly, there was still a black under armor body stocking in his way, but Tony knew from experience, the milliskin fabric was more than thin enough that he could ignore it. For now. Burying a hand in the of god’s silky black hair, Tony pulled back hard, and tried to demonstrate on Loki’s neck that Midgardians could be equally demanding.

_It was a losing battle._

Tony’s eyes fluttered shut as Loki started doing something magical with that hand he had inside Tony’s pants. Somehow, while the sensations were sizzling up and down Tony’s nerve endings, he’d let go of Loki’s hair. With a chuckle at Tony’s low moan of pleasure, the god used his free hand to cradle the back of Tony’s neck and returned to plundering Tony’s mouth.

When the God of Mischief decided to kiss you, it was practically life-changing for crying out loud. Fuck life-changing, Tony thought lightheadedly, it was an almost religious experience. Even for a self-avowed atheist like himself. Sure, Loki was a wannabe world-conquering bastard, but no matter what else you said about the guy, Tony had to admit he had a very talented tongue and was indeed an extremely hot piece of ass.

And if nothing else, Tony definitely admired that in a person.

“Oh yeah. Just like that,” he moaned, locking his ankles behind Loki’s thighs as the god released his head so he could slide gifted fingers down the back of Tony’s jeans, pulling him into a tight grind. Tony duplicated the move after he hurriedly unfastened Loki’s pants, loosening the grip his legs had on the god just long enough to shove them halfway down Loki’s thighs.

That’s when things got interesting. Tony Stark may not be a god, but the Playboy had some moves. Hands flying over the smooth unitard material, delving absolutely everywhere, Tony ducked down, taking advantage of being shorter, and started pressing kisses and nips along the long white column of Loki’s neck. He particularly enjoyed the noise Loki made every time he nipped the god right below his ear. He elicited much more heartfelt sounds when he started licking, teasing, and biting Loki’s nipples through the silky material.

“Oh Ymir. Yessssss,” Loki growled, now clutching the back of Tony’s T-shirt, nails digging into the thin cotton as he held Tony closer.

“Sir.”

“Jesus, Jarvis! _Not now_!”

“Sir, I hate to interrupt but an unknown being from Asgard has just arrived. He states he was sent here by Queen Frigga, and needs to speak with Prince Loki immediately.”

Panting, Tony pulled back to look at Loki. The equally wrecked god clenched his jaw tight, and closed his eyes, letting loose a disbelieving hiss. “Problem?” said Tony.

Dropping his head, Loki leaned in, resting their foreheads together for a moment, before pulling back and glaring at the ceiling. “Really, mother?” He asked with a snarl. “Really?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **All Comments will be answered, even those left months after this chapter originally posted**  
> .  
>  As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	9. Bullet Dodged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second prompt that inspired this fic is addressed. And it makes for one very unhappy Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was brought to you in a not totally sucky state due to the intelligence and hard work of Stella (Ykmust) and Emu Sam. Let's hear it for Betas!
> 
> I think Frigga knew what was going to happen... and had someone standing by and on speed dial. At least that is my theory. :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING - Please see end notes for a possibly, if you squint issue. - TRIGGER WARNING.

**Chapter 9 Bullet Dodged**

Rearing back a bit, Tony grimaced. Frigga had sent someone to Earth to speak to Loki?

Muttering darkly under his breath, the god waved his hands, causing a swirl of green mist to envelope him, making him instantly ready for polite company. In all areas. Then… Well, he didn’t teleport, but he did sprint out the door faster than Tony could ever hope to. Even with the suit on.

“I don’t think that was an allowed use of magic!” Tony yelled after him, flushed, sweating, and hard as a rock. “Bastard god,” he muttered, painfully bending over to pull up his jean. “Did that seem appropriate use of hocus-pocus to you, Jarvis?”

“Well, Sir, according to past conversations I’ve had with the younger Mister Odinson, the spell that inhibits his magic is very much like a rudimentary artificial intelligence. As thus _—_ ”

Tony threw back his head and made a face at Jarvis’ nearest camera. “Wait. You’ve discussed this with him? Really?”

“Indeed. My understanding is that it greatly depends on how the younger Odinson views the magic he is using.” Tony huffed, talk about your loop hole. “In this instance, it could be argued that using magic to erase evidence that might upset others, and to speed his response to an official summons, would be permitted.”

“Oh really?” Tony gingerly eased his underwear and jeans on, sucking in air through clenched teeth as he zipped the latter up.

“It is of course conjecture on my part, Sir, but I believe I have a fair understanding of the contextual modifiers for Mister Odinson’s restrictions.”

“Still wasn’t fair. Leaving me…” Tony’s mutterings trailed off to an annoyed hiss.

Since there was no way Tony was going to be moving as fast as Speedy GonLoki, he was fairly sure he would be ‘fit for company’ by the time he made it to the penthouse. But just to be on the safe side he grabbed a few file folders for camouflage on his way towards the elevator.

OoooO

Piling out of the elevator, folders firmly in place, Tony saw Loki scowling as Thor was enthusiastically introducing one very short, very bearded, very heavily armored, Grerr Hårdtangriber to the others. _Very, very bearded_. In fact, between the beard and the hair, Tony had to wonder if Cousin It had possibly just been a really tall dwarf.

Thor’s face lit up and he directed Cousin Dwarf over towards Tony. “And here is someone who will be very glad to meet you, Master Armorer, Tony Stark is renown as one of the best Midgardian Smiths of this realm.”

“ _One_ of the best, Point Break?” Tony scoffed. “I don’t think so.” Tony sent a dismissive look towards Thor, before nodding to the earth-tone-clad fire plug in front of him. “Hi. Tony Stark, Chief Engineer, and Principal Shareholder of Stark International. Welcome to my tower, nice to meet ya.” The words tumbled mechanically out of Tony’s mouth, in a polite, if not enthusiastic greeting.

“Lord Stark,” the dwarf intoned in a deep rumbling voice. Which made sense, since it was buried deep beneath the beard and the armor. In fact, it was a wonder the guy didn’t create his own echo. He inclined his head respectfully while taking stock of Tony. “An armorer you say, your Lordship?” While still respectful, there was more than a bit of ‘Yeah-I-don’t-think-so’ gleam in the newcomers gaze. At least there was in the bits that Tony could see through the dwarf’s overly bushy eyebrows.

Tossing his now unnecessary folders on a near by end table, Tony gave him a tight smile while tapping his bracelets. “Yeah. A lot of other things too, but you could say _—_ ”

The dwarf jumped back, almost plastering himself against Thor, as one of Tony’s emergency suits rocketed out of a concealed alcove, and oriented upon his bracelets. Gauntlets shot forward locking into place and the rest of his suit flowed into place until he was completely covered him in metal. Visor flipping down, the Mark7’s eyes lit up.

“Armor is kind of what most people remember about me these days,” Tony continued, his voice amplified by the suits speakers.

“Most impressive my lord. Impressive indeed.”

Unseen by the others, Tony smirked.

“For Midgard,” The dwarf finished with a slight nod.

_What the—_

"Now then, my prince, while I am not exactly sure why your Lady Mother decided to commission your coming of age armor early.”

**_Huh?!_ **

_Seriously what the fuck?_

Now it was Tony’s turn to scowl, his face screwed up in such a way that he was glad his visor was still down.

_Coming of Age? Surely not._

He could have sworn a couple of Thor’s old drinking stories involved him and Loki sneaking to Earthgard during the early Viking days. Catching his eye as he glance around the room, Nat raised a brow, the corner of her lips twitching in anticipation of… _What?_

Obviously unware of Tony’s internal turmoil, Grerr smirked. “However, she was most insistent that I attend to you immediately. And, I am as always, your lady mother’s to command.”

“Indeed.” Loki, at last pushed off the wall he was leaning against, was not quite able to keep all the irritation out of his voice. “I was not aware that your smithy would require such a long lead time for my relatively simple requirements.”

Thor’s hearty chuckle at the thought of Loki having ‘ _simple requirements’_ cut off with a cough as the younger Odinson speared him with an angry glare. And honestly, Tony was right there with Thor. There was no way in Hell Loki would settle for anything simple. The guy had spent weeks detailing everything including the color of the top stitching, for the new body armor Tony was building him. _Loden Green if you had to know_.

Not that this was distracting him from the main question. But before he could decide how best to approach that, Loki walked over and gripped Thor’s arm.

“A moment in private if you please, Thor?” The tone was polite, but the body language was enough to make Tony glad he wasn’t being the one being hauled outside.

As the doors closed behind them Tony said, “Jarvis, send me a running text to my phone of what they’re saying.” Before is AI could reply, he hit the retraction sequence on his armor, startling their unwelcome guest. ‘Pretty good for _a Midgardian_ ’ Tony’s rosy ass.

Tony turned to the dwarf and gestured towards the large bulging satchel the man had slung over one shoulder. “While they’re…” The volume outside was increasing enough they could hear it in the living room. “ _Talking_ , I’ll have Jarvis set you up in a conference room, so you can spread out your stuff, take measurements, sketch, get a list of requirements, or whatever it is you are actually here to do.” Not that Tony isn’t beginning to think he might know part of the reason the armorer was sent. Reasons that had nothing to do with leather and metal.

_At least not the kind that were normally worn in public._

After a quick introduction, Jarvis directed Gimli to a lower level conference room, Tony snuck a peek at his phone.

_You’re just not old enough yet, Loki—_

_You knew about this didn’t you, Thor?_

_A fine comrade, but not worthy of a prince—_

_So you had to go carrying tales to mother?_

_For your own good, Stark’s reputation is—_

“Set to make your move, weren't you?” Natasha breathed in Tony’s ear, looking over his shoulder.

Wiping his thumb across the phone, Tony blanked screen. Nebby spies did not need to know everything. “You have no idea, Nat.”

Natasha tch’d. “I never took you for a cradle robber, Tony.”

“Seriously, Red?” He reared back and looked at her incredulously, his expression twisted in disbelief. “You are not seriously going to say that to me. The guy is almost a thousand years old, last I checked that was way more than forty. You do the math, it’s simple subtraction, even a spy should be able to handle it.” Natasha rolled her head to one side, and gave him a long look.

Then, as if she had finally come to some conclusion, Natasha shook her head. The volume of ‘discussion’ on the terrace increasing, she and Tony both watched the two brothers argue. Arms were starting to wave angrily, and fingers were starting to be pointed.

“Apparently not according to how Asgard counts 'em.” Natasha shrugged. “But hey, at least now we know why he’s such an angsty brat.”

_Ha-ha._

While big iron gates were slamming down on Tony’s hopes for this afternoon, honestly that wasn’t the worst of his worries. Those being the fact that he had been lusting after, pawing, and even once playing a little backstroke shower roulette, to positively filthy day dreams of someone underage. “I just don’t get it. If Loki is underage, why the hell does Thor let him drink?” Tony’s tone was that of someone driven, if not to the edge, at least far out into the country.

“Some cultures allow drinking before the age of consent, Tony. You know that.”

“And fighting beside us? Killing people?”

“Different cul _—_ ”

_“Ymir’s Balls, Thor!”_

Tony rubbed his temples, tiredly trying to block out the sound of Thor and Loki, who were now practically nose to nose, screaming at each other out on the terrace. The best sound blocking windows available were not apparently proof against godly volume levels. But it wasn’t the noise so much as the content that was bothering him.

“So Tony… From the argument I’m hearing, and the stricken look on your face, I take it you were planning on tapping that.”

“Well, yeah,” was Tony’s aggrieved retort. He may have gotten various parts of him to calm down enough to be out in polite company, but his balls and the veins in his temples still felt like they were about to explode. “FYI, I had finally gotten Lolly-P to the starting block when the Queen’s yard gnome, Grerr WhoGivesaFuckson, showed up and started this ball rolling.”

Okay, so maybe they had made it a little past the starting block, but that wasn’t something Natasha needed to know.

_“ **With an Age Mate, Loki!”** _

Thor thundered in his best Wrath-Of-Norse-Godliness, the air crackling as clouds rushed in to ruin every other New Yorker's day just as much as Tony’s had been.

Livid, Loki snarled back loud enough for half of New York to hear him, _“ **You! You,** do not tell **me** what to do. I do what I want!” _

Loki shoved the large blond hard enough that he rocked backward _._

_“In case you forgot, I am centuries older than Stark or anyone else in this blasted realm!”_

_“_ Fuck.” Tony was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Well, I wouldn’t if I was you,” Natasha said with a full on smirk.

“Shut up, Nat. Do you have any idea what kind of shit storm I just dodged?”

“The morally wrong one of fucking of a minor?”

Pausing, and biting his lip in consternation at that not being his first thought, Tony snapped, “Well of course, that one too.” Because if truth be told, which was never going to be, Tony’s actual first thought had been the wrath of Pepper if this news had come out _after_ Tony had nailed Loki to a mattress. _Or been the nail-ee rather than the nail-er_ , his incredibly inappropriate hind brain taunted him. Which, while it wouldn’t not have been his first choice, Tony would have gone along with it, had that been the only way to check _‘Banged a God’_ off his _To-Do-Before-I-Kill-Myself_ list.

“Oh hell. They’re heading back this way.” Tony panicked and almost sprinted to the elevator, he so did not want to deal with this. “Jarvis, have one of the bots deliver Loki’s battle suit to his room. Call Pep, tell her I am heading to that little satellite office in her building, and if she wants anything signed, she needs to get it over there.” Jarvis could monitor the situation and let him when it was safe to come home.

“Shut it, Red,” Tony called out to the laughing spy while smacking the down button. And then, not worrying about dignity, Tony fled his tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.**  
> .  
>  I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING --- Could possibly reference Under Age Consent issues. If you look at it from a certain angle. --- TRIGGER WARNING


	10. Someone is not happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trickster gods are known for being less than nice when they don't get their own way. Loki plays to his strengths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be upstanding for the wonderful beta-y goodness that is Stella (Ykmust) and Emu Sam. Whooo Hooo!
> 
> Remember please. After posting love via comments and kudos encourages future stories. Just sayin'
> 
> ***** IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THE END NOTES ***********

**Chapter 10 – Someone is not happy**

It was three days before Tony finally returned to the Tower. He spent much of the time hanging in the little non-descript office SI maintained in the same building as Pepper’s penthouse suite, going over a lot more paperwork than any sane person wanted to while he hid out there. When he wasn’t there, he hid out in a tiny, very discreetly accessible flat, on East 54th Street, adjacent to the Monkey Bar. That was the flat he normally used when entertaining his male one night stands. It was ironic if you thought about it.

_Not that Tony wasn’t making a determined effort not to._

But all good escapes had to come to an end. Particularly since Tony was jonesing for his lab. The 54th Street hideout might have had Jarvis, but it didn’t have much else to entertain him, what with having been intended for a different kind of entertainment altogether. He had spent a lot of time since his return making sure to stick with Pepper or another Avenger. Pep just sighed. While she was willing to shield him from Loki asking awkward questions, or worse, Thor swinging big chunks of metal, she was not above making him work for her protection. So what time Tony wasn’t in the lab with Bruce, he had multiple briefings on shit he could care less about, in addition to marathon signature sessions in the office adjoining Pepper’s. His paper work had never been so caught up. Hell, hanging out in the gym with Steve and the danger twins was almost better than spending any more time with Pepper and her never ending paperwork.

It could have been worse, he supposed. Neither Natasha nor Thor spilled the beans on what had almost happened. So at least Tony only had to put up with smirks from the Red Menace and the odd glare from Pikachu. And since Loki wasn’t stupid, it had only taken brushing him off once for the younger god to get the message that Tony was no longer interested in continuing the particular game they had been playing.

To say that Loki had not been pleased would have been like saying that Fury occasionally became vexed. And it hadn’t taken long before everyone noticed that Tony was no longer on Loki’s ‘ _Do not annoy unless it would be really funny’_ list.

He was now on the _'Make his life living hell whenever possible'_ list. Yeah, apparently the godling had one.

The younger god’s mood was foul enough that even with Tony getting the brunt of it, there was still more than enough retaliation against random humans and the odd Asgardian, going around that the other Avengers were becoming desperate. Not, however, as desperate as the criminals Loki was also using as a stress relief. Clint remarked that the Trickster's hauls must be enormous. So many drug dealers had been targeted that they were in danger of clogging the municipal courts. But as the saying goes, _No Good Deed Goes Unpunished_.

Increasingly, SHIELD’s intelligence had been hearing grumblings about all the money the local law enforcement agencies had not been able to confiscate. Oh sure, the vigilante left them the criminals, and ironclad evidence. And of course, the police were still confiscating the criminal’s vehicles, physical property, and whatever expensive watches or jewelry the vigilante deemed unworthy of his attention. But they were starting to get vocal about there no longer being any large wads of cash lying around. Cash which would normally have been confiscated and added to their various discretionary expense budgets. When warned about it, Loki’s face took on an expression that hearkened back to his ‘Bag of Cats’ Tesseract days.

“They should be careful what they wish for,” he snarled, grabbing up the list of Habitat for Humanity building supplies that Steve was reluctantly passing on to him.

OoooO

“He’s a vindictive prick,” said Clint less than two weeks later, taking a break from shoveling chips into his mouth. A decent portion of them scattered down his gray SHIELD t-shirt in a way that would not be happening if Natasha was around.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, Thor,” he admonished to the glaring Asgardian. “Who didn’t know he was going to bypass the local cops and start bringing the feds in? Or that all his new targets would involve corrupt cops? After all, they got what they wanted, he’s leaving all the cash behind.” Clint may not have been Loki’s biggest fan, but even he had to admit the guy was thorough.

And Tony had to admit he had been pretty much expecting something like this from Loki. Well, perhaps not to this scale, and without all the extra surveillance vids, but still. All in all, Tony decided it was a good thing that only the Avengers and a select few, i.e. Coulson, Fury, and Hill, knew that Loki was behind all the busts.

“Him posting all those pre-smack down videos, the ones showing that it had been an ongoing problem, that’s just gravy for the prosecution, I would think.” Clint shrugged. “Although, if I was dealing or on the take, I’d be worried about him running out of city cops to fuck with.”

Thor shook his head ruefully. “I do have to admit that as much as my brother likes money, he will sacrifice it for spite.”

This was something else that Tony had to despondently admit to himself. After all, he was now the proud possessor of a matchbox sized Acura NSX Concept car. And, thus far, the cranky Trickster had rejected every bribe he could think of to return it to normal size. Worse still? Thor had warned Tony not to move it, lest Loki decide to return it back to full size while it was sitting in a desk drawer. Or worse, the engineer’s pocket. Which meant every single time Tony escaped to the lab to get away from one very frustrated and horny young god, he had to look at what was basically a toy car lined up amongst his other vehicles.

He might think magic users are totally hot, but Tony hated magic itself, particularly magic that shrank his very expensive, high-power sports cars to 1/64th scale.

OoooO

And the Loki situation didn’t get any better.

To cut down on his mischief-slash-vigilante time, SHIELD had _tried_ to make him come in on the side for some, hero-slash-lab rat activities. Surprising no one, Loki refused categorically. Equally unsurprising, Thor backed him up. As Thor later confided to Bruce, Loki’s ‘questing’ was doing more good for the general population than what SHIELD had proposed, and besides, there was no sense making Loki any crankier than he already was.

The one downside from SHIELD’s doomed little power play, was they were now on Loki’s radar as far as retaliation was concerned.

_Which was actually an upside in Tony’s opinion._

While the godling might be dedicated to his campaign of pissing them all off, it could only help to have his attention split three ways instead of two. Even a god only had so many hours a day to work with.

After Coulson’s unsuccessful attempt to get Loki to stop his Muzak Infiltration on public areas of the Helicarrier, a suggested playlist was left in the communal kitchen. A list that might or might not have had the theme song for Men in Black, along with all the songs from Pulp Fiction mixed into it. And, if ‘Darth Vader’s Theme’ now played every time Fury stepped into the command center, Tony certainly had nothing to do with it that could be proved. That was all on Loki.

_Even if he had put a tiny star and a note beside that song._

OoooO

Several weeks later, Thor had turned to him in desperation. “You can still court him,” he said in a harried tone.

The large blonde hissed as Bruce applied antibiotic cream to the large welts covering his right arm, Loki having apparently booby-trapped Thor’s pop tart stash with a purely mechanical booby-trap. Completely with the intent of keeping Thor’s cache of goodies safe.

_Yeah right._

Not even Thor or Steve were totally buying that one.

“Seriously, Thor?” Tony retorted, giving the big guy his best stink eye. “Can we just revisit how long it is until he’s legal.”

“He is legal now,” Thor fussed, glaring at stinging cream Bruce continued to slather onto his arm. “He has been accepted as an Avenger, and has citizen papers. Natasha arranged them, don’t you remember?”

Letting his head fall back, Tony sighed heavily, eyes rolling up in… not exasperation, but close. He was never quite sure anymore if Thor is genuinely confused, or just screwing with him. Besides, he’d already had ‘ _a_ ’ talk with Thor. Not ‘ _the_ ’ talk mind you, but something more pertinent to his situation. “Thor, buddy. According to your best calculations, and more importantly, according to your brother’s best calculations, by the time your brother is ‘legal’ enough as far as Asgard is concerned, I will most likely be dead; or so old I’ll wish I was.”

Bruce wiped down the next area, and the blonde mumbled curses under his breath. Several alluded to the fact that he should have known better. Apparently, Frigga, in a quizative mood, was not someone he should have had lunch with on his last visit home. “I did not suggest you bed him, Stark.” His tone was aggrieved. “But anything less than that would be enough to give us all much needed relief.”

“Yeah? And what about _my_ relief? I’m not sure how well _courting_ would work for me.”

“You could try,” the beleaguered god shot back, glaring at him over Bruce’s shoulder.

OoooO

“I just don’t understand why you can’t court him,” Thor fretfully whined yet again as he, and Tony tried to empty what seemed to be over a thousand floating opaque pale green balloons out of Bruce’s office. Bruce had been helping them; or rather they had been helping Bruce, until they discovered that every tenth balloon was filled with water or glitter. And worse? Loki had used a permanent marker to draw a rune on every damn balloon so they all floated exactly the same, giving you no warning as to which ones were filled with said water or glitter. That part of the prank had Bruce going a little green around the edges. So they had sent him to go have a nice lie down. “Anyhow, you courting him would certainly cut down _—_ ”

“ _Agggh!_ Another glitter one!” The bastard Trickster had to be getting a bulk price when he bought the annoying sparkly shit. Irritated, Tony brushed green glitter off his face with his forearm and spat a few times into the large wheeled recycling container that they were using to pop the balloons in. A job that would have been so much easier, if each damn balloon had not had to be held down to pop. Between being splashed with water and then sprayed with glitter, Tony knew he was going to be covered before they were finished. So, under the circumstances…

He possibly could be forgiven for not being as diplomatic as he should have been.

“Thor, buddy, you need to give it a rest. I just wanted to bang your brother, not marry him.”

Thor glared at him, while lighting speared the sky. _Oh good. Static._ They needed more of that.

“But right now?” Tony curled his lip, vengefully stabbing another balloon. It's demised rewarded him by stirring up some of the glitter clinging to the sides of the trashcan. “Right now? The only thing I want to do is to strangle him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *********** TAKE NOTE - In these more enlightened, ie. fussy times, glitter bombing is considered and often prosecuted as vandalism. So unless you are already a super villain you might want to pass on trying it. People have been arrested and fired. *****************
> 
> .  
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	11. This calls for drastic action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce just tells it like it is. Tony tries to flip the tables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thanks as always to Stella (Ykmust) for her all her beta'ing and suggestions, and Emu Sam for not killing me when she sees how I screwed up implementing Stella's suggestions. 
> 
> *************** TRIGGER WARNING - SEE END NOTES ********************

**Chapter 11 - This calls for drastic action**

When questioned, at a volume that had to be near the top of Thor’s range, the Trickster claimed that he merely had been providing an example of a theory Bruce had expressed a desire to observe. Tony was willing to bet it had been an off handed, in passing expression of interest. It had taken _Pepper_ to get Loki to deescalate the pranking after whisking the younger god off for a nice long chat during which she threatened to back charge him for the time Tony, Thor and the ‘bots had spent on the whole balloon fiasco. As Tony was well aware of what his departments were charged hourly for his time, he was not too surprised that this tactic had worked. Of course, Pepper being Pepper, she also sweetened the deal. Literally in this case, by using a hand full of gourmet lollipops. Once she had him hooked on them, she refused to tell Loki where they had come from, however, she had some delivered to Tony daily.

Wild Cherry, Pomegranate Raspberry, and Sour Cherry were Loki’s preferred flavors. Tony turning over the day's supply of sweets as a reward for the previous day’s prank free behavior. Or rather prank free as it pertained to Tony, SI, Pepper and the Tower. Pepper was well aware that no matter how good they tasted, lollipops would only buy so much co-operation. As far as she was concerned, everyone else needed to come up with their own bribes.

It never failed to make Clint snicker that Tony had become, despite his best efforts, Loki’s ‘Sugar Daddy.’

OoooO

It wasn’t that Tony hadn’t tried explaining his position to Loki. Like that fact that, however hot he was, and however old Earth thought he was, there was no way they could even think about doing the nasty until Asgard said he was an adult. Asgard was his legal planet of origin, no matter how badly they pissed him off. Of course, it went without saying that by then, as he had told Thor, Tony would most likely be dead, or hobbling around with a walker.

Tony might not be a model for moral rectitude, but he certainly wasn’t going to bang somebody who wasn’t yet considered an adult. And it wasn’t just him trying to avoid being tagged a ‘creepy old man.’ He did however think it was stupid that someone nine hundred and fifty-three years, and the equivalent of almost twenty earth years old, was still considered a minor.

Due to Pepper’s threats, and her control of his lollipop supply, Loki’s retaliation was somewhat limited. However, Loki still managed to express his feeling on Tony’s almost lone moral stance in less destructive, yet still irritating ways. Like trying to steal anything Tony tried to eat. And on occasion even forfeiting that day’s supply of lollypops. Like the time Tony, not thinking, had idly agreed with Clint that sure, someday he would need to think about getting a new look. Loki turned all the hair on the engineer’s body, bright pumpkin orange. The food snatching was mildly annoying, but the orange hair had forced him to bargain with Natasha for the use of her Magical Hair Brush to turn his hair, beard and brows back to brown. Since Natasha had, understandably, refused to let him use her brush on other portions of his body, Tony had the choice of resembling a goateed orangutan or enduring several very painful waxing sessions. Having now gone the wax route, he was never again going to regard a woman with a Brazilian wax job as anything less than a masochist.

At any rate, according to Thor, age mates could pretty much do the dirty as much as they wanted with each other, so long as they made sure no one got pregnant. However, once past eight hundred, Asgardian customs also allowed courtship with people outside the age mate group, so long as physical contact didn’t surpass the level of Earthgardian teens making out, minus the really heavy petting until after the younger party had reached their majority.

While Tony originally had absolutely no intention of courting Loki like Thor wanted him to, circumstances necessitated that he find out where exactly what non-age mates courting boundaries consisted of.

Circumstances, such as Loki not liking the word ‘no.’ At least, not as it applied to his crush on Tony. And equally important to Tony, Loki still refusing to tell him how he was non-magically bypassing the Tower’s security, no matter how many times Tony upgraded it.

As many of Loki’s previous pranks were now off the table, unless the godling wanted to pay the exorbitant clean up fees Pepper was going to change him, Loki concentrated his ongoing efforts to torment Tony in more harmless to property, personal ways. Like tall, dark and limber’s bad habit of suddenly jumping Tony, backing him up against a wall and kissing him until he was fucking breathless and weak-kneed, before the bastard smiled at him and sauntered off.

_Except for those times when he didn’t._

Tony was enough of a flirt to enjoy, and in fact return the attention, even if it couldn’t go anywhere. What he was less happy about was those times when his Asgardian Bad Boy tried to go for the gold, attempting to lure Tony into Space Viking No-No Land.

OoooO

“I don’t see why you’re complaining. He isn’t doing anything to you that you haven’t done to me,” Bruce said, earning a narrow eyed glare from Tony as he poured steaming water over an infuser full of one of the rare teas Loki had carpet bombed his living room with. Even with all Bruce had gotten rid of, he still had an entire pantry full.

“Yeah. Well but, I never slipped you tongue or anything.” Bruce snorted. “Okay so maybe one time as a joke.” Tony glanced over; Bruce was fiddling with his tea thingy and giving him a ‘you are so full of bullshit’ look. “Okay, so maybe more than once. But in my defense, I will say even though I like to tease and all that, I never really did expect to get in your pants.” He peered questioningly at Bruce. “You did know that, right?”

“I did know that, Tony,” Bruce chuckled, glancing sidelong at Tony with a sly smile. “While I was aware that you would hit on anything with a pulse, I was fairly sure that I didn’t rank high enough on the pretty scale to have to worry about my virtue."

“Oh, don’t be that way, Mean Green,” Tony caroled, giving him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek, while stealing one of Bruce’s tea biscuits. “You know I think your brain is gorgeous.”

Brushing Tony off of him, Bruce gave him a gentle shove towards the door. “And can I just say how glad I am for my virtue, that my gorgeous brain is protected by this rather bland body.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You are rather magnificent when you’re green,” Tony said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively as he slid out of the room with a laugh. He definitely needed to beat feet before Bruce decided to also comment on how, like Loki, Tony too stole food off other people’s plates as a joke. Because, much like Loki, he also believed food snitched from someone else tasted better.

OoooO

It was after a week of non-stop blue balls from being randomly accosted by the bastard God of Mischief, that Tony decided that two could play the whole snogging game. Having a very good ulterior motive, Tony went in search of the Trickster, finding him of course in the common room. Ruffling Loki’s hair affectionately, Tony dropped down on the couch beside the god. Taking a sip of his drink, he leaned over, peering at the screen of the large laptop the god was working on. “More new merchandise?” Loki nodded, leaning into the engineer. “Wait, you’re letting your fans submit artwork for designs?”

Loki spun his lollipop around a few more times in his mouth, and then opened two more files, nudging one of them over towards a cluster of five other graphics. “Of course.” He rolled his head onto his shoulder and regarded Tony with amusement. “Where do you think I got the designs for the original batch? My bestseller was created by a fifteen year old.”

Hooded green eyes seemed to focus on Tony’s mouth for several long moments before Loki sat up and shifted until he was half straddled across Tony's Lap, dropping his lollypop in to Tony’s drink to free up both hands.

“Tony,” Loki breathed. His warm breath stirred the hair at Tony’s temple.

Shifting his grip on the tumbler so that he could keep the lollipop stick out of his way, Tony took another sip before setting it on the end table. He’d barely gotten the glass out of the way before Loki’s lips softly nipped at him, and a faintly cherry flavored tongue demanded entry. In an effort to keep it at least PG-13, Tony pulled his head back a bit, causing Loki to grumble, and issued his standard warning. “Nothing below the belt, sport, you know the rules.”

Loki huffed irritably, soft flush tinting his cheeks, but he did dance his clever fingers back up to the previously declared safe zones, finally draping his arms loosely over Tony’s shoulders as he reclaimed the engineer’s mouth. As a gazetted playboy, Tony did not normally waste a lot of time necking before diving into the main event. However, there was something about soft satisfied little breaths, insistent lips, and a gently probing tongue that could, with the right person, and in the right circumstances, be hypnotic. So much so that Tony had to take charge unless he wanted to end up kiss drunk.

So Tony did. He dusted off a few moves he normally didn’t use much. Also, on the theory that Loki probably did what he enjoyed himself, the Playboy mirrored a few of Loki’s better ones.

_And hey. It worked._

Loki melted against him, aborting some southwardly handsy moves with a slightly frustrated sigh. He did, however, tilt his head to the side, allowing Tony better access. Humming with satisfaction, Tony trailed kisses of his own up and down the god’s luscious neck and jaw line, tucking Loki’s head against him so he could pay attention to that sensitive spot the Trickster had on the back of his neck. And because he liked Loki all tucked against him, he went back to that spot often, earning himself some contented humming in return.

When he figured Loki was as wrecked as he normally managed to get Tony, he put his lips against the god’s ear.

“Dasher, tell me how you keep bypassing my security,” Tony lulled.

A slight frown furrowed Loki brow. Turning, Loki caught Tony’s eyes, half hooded green eyes sought brown. His voice was a distracted murmur.

“Wha _—_?”

Tony slid both hands down the god’s back, tracing the finely defined muscles and by sheer force of will stopping before he hit the waist band. “I know you’ve been bypassing my security system somehow." Tony nipped Loki’s jaw. “I just don’t know how.” Grasping Loki’s shirt, Tony untucked it. “And as much as I want to sit here and do this all afternoon…” He groaned and slid his hands up under Loki’s shirt, pulling him in tight, even as the god pressed against him. “And fuck knows I want to, I also want to know how you did it.”

For several moments, Loki was too busy dusting Tony’s face with small kisses. They were feather light touches on Tony’s lips, cheeks, temples and brow. But when Tony finally leaned back, murmuring inquiringly, Loki spoke, allowing their eyes to meet for only an instant before looking off in the distance.

“I am an acknowledged mage supreme of the Nine Realms,” he said, twining his long fingers in the back of Tony’s hair before he glanced down again to meet Tony’s gaze. “My talents lay mostly in that direction, but I have do have basic knowledge in information systems.”

_Okay. This was now seriously fucked up._

“Are you trying to say that you bypassed my system and you’re only a user, Gump?”

Loki shrugged. “If that means casual user? Then yes, that’s what I’m trying to say.” His kiss swollen lips tipped mischievously into a one sided grin. “But I will tell you, Stark, if you can make me see Yggdrasil? I will not only tell you how I did it, I will see to it that you get a translated copy of a basic coding manual.” Pulling Tony’s head back, Loki’s head bowed until his forehead rested upon Tony’s. “Basic as far as Asgard is concerned, obviously, but far superior to what you are using.”

After the initial surge of excitement, hard reality kicked in. Hard. On one hand, advanced computer coding concepts, on the other hand, he suspected that see ‘I-dra-sil’ was the Space Viking way of saying _'I want to come like it’s the Fourth of July'_. Or would be if Space Vikings had any clue about that holiday, Tony mused.

The knees bracketing Tony’s legs tightened while his baser self both warred with his better self. Evil Tony, complete with horns on one shoulder and a haloed Cap on the other, with CEO Pepper as back up. As if sensing his inner argument, a smooth alabaster cheek slid against his as a seductively warm voice whispered in his ear, “And perhaps one that is more than basic.”

_Oh great, up the ante._

Of course, the chances of him also seeing fireworks courtesy of Thor or Pepper if he did give in were pretty much a given. Tony didn’t think for one minute that they wouldn’t get caught.

In addition to the light kisses he was placing on Tony’s temple and brow, long graceful fingers were also rubbing tiny, soothing circles in his hair, right along the base his neck.

Groaning, Tony leaned into it. Not incidentally tilting his head back so kisses could be ghosted across his cheeks and lips, as Loki brought his thumbs up to massage the column of muscles below his ears at the same time. As his tension melted away, he idly wondered what a full body massage from the Trickster would feel like. But as much as Tony would really like this melting massage, kissing thing to continue, or better, progress! It really couldn’t. He had so few real principles; there was no way he could afford to give up another.

With Loki’s clever fingers and even more clever tongue intensifying the depth what they were sharing… Warmth was definitely pooling in places Tony didn’t need it to be. Since he had no intention of setting trees on fire or whatever other euphemisms Loki might come up with for rocking his world, Tony slid halfway off the couch. What had moments ago been his lap, turned into a slope.

With a startled squawk, a surprised Loki slid to the floor, sprawling in a way that might be described as a coltish tangle. If it were anyone less innately graceful than a certain raven haired god. Smirking at the disheveled picture he presented, Tony reached over with both hands to finish ruffling Loki’s hair into a complete mess, before bending to drop a small kiss on the confused god’s upturned face. Before the Trickster could decide how he wanted to retaliate, Tony bopped a finger against Loki’s nose and stood.

“You are so adorable when you try to bribe people,” he smirked, “did you know that?”

Ignoring Loki’s obligatory eye roll and scoffing noise, Tony held out a hand, helping the god to his feet. Without letting go, he headed towards the elevator towing Loki behind him. “Come on, Games, let’s go fix your hair, I want to introduce you to my tailor, so you can set up an appointment with him. And after that, we’ll take a ‘copter out to the Monticello Motor Club, I’ve got a couple of sweet rides stored there we can use. Besides, I want race against you on the Karting Track and kick your godly ass seven ways from Sunday. Jarvis, tell Terry we’re on our way to see him, then tell Pep we’re stealing the chopper in about an hour or so.” Tony whirled Loki into the elevator, a light slap on the god’s shapely ass, encouraging him to step aside so Tony could follow him in, allowing the doors to close. “Oh. And let Jason know what time we’ll be there, and ask him to set up the Sixty-six course for us.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.
> 
>  
> 
> ***************** TRIGGER WARNING - Dub con/Non con groping - TRIGGER WARNING **********************


	12. Success at last!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding? Check. Snatching? Check. Say what?!!? Poor Tony, it's been a rough time for him lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 04142016 Update!!! Please page down to see the wonderful commissioned art done for me by Virushoney. 
> 
> Many, many thanks as always to Stella (Ykmust) for her all her beta'ing and suggestions, and Emu Sam for not killing me when she sees how I screwed up implementing Stella's suggestions. 
> 
> *********** TAKE NOTE - In these more enlightened, ie. fussy times, glitter bombing is considered and often prosecuted as vandalism and or assult. People have been arrested and fired. So unless you are already a super villain you might want to pass on trying it. *****************

**Chapter 12 – Success at last!**

It took six weeks, using a loofa every other day for Tony’s body hair to grow back in without a lot of bumps and irritation. Loki had offered to help with witch hazel and tea-tree oil massages, but as tempting as that sounded, Tony was on to the rat bastard god by now. So in the interest of distracting the trickster from retribution more dire than food snatching and ninja snogging, Tony made sure to keep him occupied. But sadly, not in the way they both wished.

The keeping busy in other ways was actually Pepper’s idea, but since he was the one who introduced Loki to formula one racing, skydiving, parasailing, and ultralights _—_ not to mention Wall Street, which Loki loved _—_ Tony figured he deserved most of the credit.

And if he had a lot of fun doing barrel rolls in a suit while Loki pushed the limits on free falling, well, he certainly wasn’t going to admit it to anybody. Even if the fines for Loki base jumping off the tower when he was bored kept getting higher and higher. Although one of these days he wasn’t going to suit up and catch the bastard.

OoooO

Several weeks later, it had been Loki’s turn to pick the movie, and Tony should have known something was up when, instead of sitting next to him so he could dip his fucking lollipop into whatever Tony was drinking, Loki sat on the other couch between Thor and Steve. The first movie was half way over before Tony realized that not only was he still hungry, but that his plate was empty. Brows lowering in puzzlement, Tony glanced around the room and noticed Loki watching him with a crooked smile. Maintaining eye contact with Tony, the younger god nudged his brother with his plate. Thor, whose plate was also completely empty, absent-mindedly accepted the slice of meat-lovers pizza he was being offered.

_Wait a minute._

Tony’s eyes narrowed. Loki hadn’t been able to get a slice of that pizza. Tony knew since he had only just managed to grab the two pieces of meat lovers before the Blonde Duo could pile every other single slice on their plates. And besides, Loki had only taken that a few slices of that stupid Hawaiian chicken pizza Natasha favored and one slice of Bruce’s Veggie pizza. Otherwise known as the Pizza of Last Resort around the tower, so named because it was normally the only pizza with leftovers to be put away after the movie.  

“You know, Lolly, it’s bad enough when you sit beside me and eat off my plate,” Tony groused making a face and reluctantly taking a slice of Last Resort Pizza. Bruce chuckled. “But inquiring minds want to know how you have convinced your magic that it was ‘in the public interest’ to magically pilfer from my plate?”

A pleased grin stole over the godling’s face as Thor tore his attention away from ‘ _The Wolf of Wall Street.’_ He cast a stricken look down at the crust in his hand, all that was left of Tony’s stolen pizza.

“I am just trying to help Stark,” the rat-bastard godling cooed, mischief dancing behind his eyes, irritating little wizard shit that he was. “Only this morning you stated you needed to hit the gym or start eating less.”

Lying on the big bean bag on the floor, Clint snorted. “Yeah. The only way Tony is going to hit the gym is if he stumbles in the hallway and falls through the door by accident."

Tony tossed a wadded up napkin at the irritating archer.

“Indeed. And since you did not work out with us after breakfast, I was just trying to help,” Loki piously intoned as Tony’s near empty stomach rumbled.

OoooO

It isn’t that Tony hasn’t tried to retaliate by stealing stuff from Loki. Because he really, really has. Unfortunately the boy from Asgard is as fast as a snake, and even managed to protect his snacks in the cupboards from Tony’s grabby hands. Over the course several months, Tony tried numerous times to snag or sneak something of Loki’s, up to and including search-and-destroy missions through the kitchen cupboards. But, somehow, Loki always managed to hide his stuff, often in plain sight and enjoyed taunting Tony by just waltzing over opening up a cupboard and pulling it down. Of course, when Tony went through the cupboard it would not have occurred to him that the sealed package of seven grain veggie crisps was actually an empty box re-sealed around a full bag of chocolate chip macadamia cookies. Which the selfish bastard totally refused to share even one of.

“Oh it is so on,” Tony growled at Loki’s retreating back. The God merely cast him a sidelong glance, snickering as he bit into one of his cookies. Understandable really, since Tony has said that maybe a hundred fricken times without even once beating the damn God at his own game.

Until….

That one glorious day, that the Gods that weren’t Norse bastards, smiled upon Tony. After being nagged to go eat something by Jarvis, Tony found Loki standing at the breakfast bar, putting finishing touches on the garnish to this smoothie. Because Lord knew that a God could not drink a smoothie without several pieces of the featured fruit cut into various shapes arranged around the edge of the glass. Carmen Miranda would have been jealous of Loki’s ability to create eye catching displays of editable garnishes.

Tony knew if he asked, he would probably be told something like 'only peasants drank theirs plain' Or maybe that 'gods needed the extra vitamins to keep their skin glowing' or some such bullshit. Although he was willing to bet it was because Loki was so OCD, he couldn’t enjoy the damn thing unless it looked like it could be on the cover of this month’s issue of Bon Appetit.

In fact, he was also willing to bet if he pointed out to the godling that he has serious OCD, the godling would tell him that if he was only going to use letters, he should at least list them alphabetically and call it CDO.

“Loki,” Thor bellowed from the living room, derailing Tony's derailed train of thoughts. Thin lipped, Loki tucked his chin to his chest, rolling a disgusted look towards the living room from under lowered brows.

Unaware of the Death Star-class glare Loki was tossing into towards the living room, Thor continued, “You promised, that you would make a grand snack tray for watching this afternoon’s game.”

And indeed a little further down the counter, Tony could see an absolutely enormous snack tray heaped full of crackers, cheese, veggie sticks, eggrolls, boneless buffalo wings, several various cups of dip, and who knows what other goodies. None of which Tony would swear he’d seen in the kitchen or any cupboards earlier. Sneaky bastard.

“But I didn’t say I would deliver, did I?” Loki snapped, no doubt annoyed by the underlying whine in Thor’s booming voice.

“But Loki… The game has already started. Did I not give your monthly stipend early as you requested so you could invest it?” Who knew that a muscle bound God of Thunder could whine like a three year old while guilt tripping like someone’s Babka? Not Tony.

With an irritated grumble, Loki closed his eyes in disgust, allowing Tony to back soundlessly around the corner without drawing attention to himself. He stopped just out of sight in the hallway listening.

“Don’t worry; we’ll get it during the next commercial break,” Steve called out, causing Thor to make a noise indicative of complete disagreement.

Sighing loudly and tossing the small garnish knife on the counter with a loud clatter, Loki snatched up the overloaded tray and headed for the living room.

Leaving his artfully embellished glass unprotected.

Tony's heart skipped a beat at this long awaited opportunity. Knowing that he might never get another chance, he darted over towards the counter, grabbed the glass and took off down to his lab. Holding the smoothie aloft the entire time as if it was a rare, holy relic of great importance. “Jarvis, we’re on maximum lock down.” Tony crowed throwing himself station chair and spinning around delightedly, prepared to savor his triumph at it finally being able to snatch a treat from Loki.

From the color of the glass, he had been expecting a banana pineapple something; instead, the smell of orchards tickled his nose as he took a sip.

Tony’s eyes went wide.

_Holy. Shit._

Sunshine, apples, crisp fall breezes, and carefree laughter, exploded against his taste buds. Holding his stolen drink up to the light Tony regarded it closely. The god-damned glass was filled with liquid Autumn.

_And yes, that was Autumn with a capital A. Hell the whole word should be in caps to do the damn drink justice._

Tony didn’t know exactly what the hell was in the smoothie, but it was well worth the wait. Plucking one of the apple garnishes off the edge of the glass, he popped it in his mouth and was rewarded with a crisp tart explosion of flavor. Tony’s taste buds not only thanked him, they got down on their knees and kissed the ground he walked upon while begging for more.

Merely the lingering after taste made his mouth water so bad he had to swallow. Blinking, Tony again looked at the glass.

“Jarvis, I want you to immediately pull the security videos, find out what our resident menace put in this damn thing, and order me a case of everything it would take to make more of them.”

"Yes, sir." Jarvis told him with oddly cheeky tone, that Tony would have totally followed up on… If he hadn’t been distracted by the aroma wafting up from his stolen glass.

Almost reverently, Tony took another sip.

OoooO

The next day, having worked continuously without any nourishment over the last thirty-six hours, other than the stolen smoothie, Tony was kicked out of his lab by Jarvis. Oh he could have stayed. It was after all his lab. And whatever he might think, Jarvis was not the boss of him. However sitting in the dark because all the power had been cut got a bit boring. This was why Tony had been sitting in his own damn living room, minding his own damn business, when fucking Brunhild the Corseted powered down from Space Viking heaven. Her loose black hair and pissy attitude tipped Tony off that this was Thor’s gal pal Sif. Rolling his eyes to the heavens, Tony now regretted not heading to bed immediately, or at least parking it in the kitchen and eating as he’d been advised. Advised by Jarvis, that was, who, having been created by a genius, obviously gave advice worth listening to. Which made it his own genius advice he had ignored. Something that admittedly wasn’t very smart of him.

He took a deep breath and sighed, resolving to take his own advice more often.

“Jarvis? Where is Bolt Boy this afternoon?”

“Sir, he and Captain Rogers are having lunch with the patients of St. Christopher's Hospital for Children in Philadelphia, until two p.m.”

Of course they were. They had wanted Tony to go with them, but frankly, sick kids made him feel even more helpless and overwhelmed than usual. Besides, sticky kid finger prints took forever to polish off the suits. So. Instead of jointing the Blonde Bombshells, Tony had loaded them up with a ton of Avenger swag for the kiddies and a nice check for the activities coordinator. His gaze unfocused for a moment while he thought. After a moment, he said, “Oh. Well. What about Loki? He still sleeping or has he decided to spread terror into the hearts of the municipally corrupt early today?”

"Actually, neither, sir. Mister Odinson is en route to the Ritz-Carlton. He is scheduled to have lunch with Ms. Roberrts from Oppenheimer & Co.”

_What the hell?_

“Jarvis, are you sure? If it’s the Roberrts I’m thinking of, she’s a bit old for him, isn’t she?” Not that Tony was jealous or anything. If Loki wanted to have lunch with someone’s grandmother, he was more than welcome to.

_But, why?_

“In addition to being a senior associate, apparently she also appreciates an esthetically pleasing lunch partner. Furthermore, Ms. Roberrts is known for her early cultivation of donors for the charities she is associated with.”

“And Loki?”

“I understand he appreciates an experienced and selective mentor. It has taken him two weeks to set up this meeting.”

 _Wonderful._ Tony smile was six kinds of curly as he glanced back down at his tablet.

“Well, in addition to giving Thor an FYI, you might want to call Mister Mistoffelees and let him know we have a Space Viking Touchdown, and he needs to get his pretty little ass back here pronto since Thor is out of pocket.” Tony peered out the window watching as Xena apparently finished scoping out her surroundings and was now headed towards the door. “Er. Tell him he needs to _hurry_ because Space Chick looks a bit miffed. And let him know he definitely doesn’t need to waste time calling Roberrts to reschedule, because you’ll do it for him.”

“Yes, sir. And if Ms. Roberrts can’t or doesn’t want to reschedule?”

Dropping his sneakered feet off the coffee table, Tony stood up and got ready for company. Which meant, of course, he smoothed down his rumpled band T-shirt, combed careless fingers through his hair, and prepared to meet an armored Amazon, while clad in faded blue jeans. And of course, his suit bracelets because, let’s face it, the chick was from Asgard, she could beat his ass even without using the weapons she had strapped all over her. “Use your initiative there, Jarvis. Whatever it takes to keep the God of Premenstrual Crankiness from being pissed at me? Do it.”

For reasons best known only to herself, Sif the Space Viking stopped a few yards away from the terrace door and just stood there. Forcing Tony to actually go outside. _In the sunshine._

It wasn’t that Tony disliked sunshine per se, he just preferred to experience it while driving a high performance sports car with the top down. Besides, if he was going to have to deal with any of Thor’s crazy friends, he would prefer to do it as close to his bar as possible. Unfortunately, the bitch spread her feet in a parade rest and just stood there waiting for him. Rolling his eyes and grumbling under his breath, Tony threw open the Terrace door. And, let’s face it, stomped out to see what the hell was going on in Rainbow Brite land that was important enough to send Midge down to bug him. Err… them.

Hand shoved deep in his pockets, Tony stopped a few paces from Sif, bobbed his head, and said, “Hey. Thor is out of town right now, but he’ll be back in a couple hours if you want to wait for him.”

“I know,” Sif said with a smirk.

“… Okaaay… I’ve let Loki know you’re here, and he’ll be here shortly. Ummm… You want to come in and sit down while we wait?” Tony took a step back towards the terrace doors but Amazon girl still didn’t move.

Buff and bronzed, and not a rivet out of place, Sif just stood there looking at Tony, as if he had personally irritated her. This wasn’t impossible even though he had never met her. He was, after all, Tony Stark. However, it was a bit disconcerting, because normally he liked to know when he was pissing people off. It made it easier to enjoy the moment.

Muttering 'This is not weird at all,' Tony put up his best smile. “So, in the meantime…” Tony clapped his hands and spread his arms wide, “Welcome to Stark Tower. Inside shall we?” Tony turned and started walking back toward his living room.

In hindsight, that was a bit of a mistake. Fast as a snake, Sif reached out with her left hand, grabbed Tony’s right wrist yanking almost off his feet as she turned him, and twisted his arm up behind.

“Jarvis!” Tony screamed, hitting the pavement hard with his knees as he was forced down into a crouch. “Send me a suit buddy! Call Thor! Call Loki! Tell him somebody’s ponytail is way too tight!”

A metal cuff cut into his wrist. Tony looked at it incredulously.

“Help is on the way, Sir!”

“The All Father will talk to you now.” Sif growled grabbing his other hand and slapping a cuff on it too.

What the— _Seriously_? What the hell could he possibly have done, or not done, to deserve a royal summon by the god damned King of the Universe?

“Fuck! How many times do I need to remind you people that my consultation hours are between eight and five every other Thursday?” Jokes and witty banter being his go to move at the onset of panic.

“Heimdall! Open the Bi-Frost!”

"What? N…" Space Bitch’s grip tightened, blocking his breathing. _Breathing!_ _Right._ Can he breathe in Asgard? Thor and Loki could breathe on earth, but hey, gods, okay. Loki was able to survive space, for crying out loud, but that didn’t mean Tony would survive Asgard. His struggles intensified and to both their amazement, he almost pulled away from the crazy Valkyrie.

This was it. Tony was in deep trouble with Asgard, apparently. Which was totally not fair, since he hadn’t so much as kissed Loki since… Well okay, he had kissed him obviously. With tongue even. And maybe the odd grope here and there.

But…

 _It’s allowed! If we’re courting!_ Which they were, sort of. In a _friends with benefits many years from now_ kind of way. Was there some special courting paper work he had neglected to have Pepper file for him?

Several pieces of Mark-whatever fell towards the terrace but Warrior Princess knocked them off course with her stick-sword-whatever before they could assemble on Tony. Which they wouldn’t have been able to do anyhow, what with his freaking hands tied behind him. He really needed to write a protocol for that.

Oh shit, was that rainbow light coming down? The ground looked a bit brighter.

Suddenly a pair of black boots appeared. Did Heimdall beam himself down?

Shit. **Shit _._** _**Shit**_ **.**

“Loki, no!” Sif yelled, Tony looked up just in time to see her striking her sword-whatever at the green eyed god, who smoothly maneuvered out of the way.

"Huh, not Heimdall," was all the genius' shock numb brain could muster.

Distracted, Sif's weight shifted and Loki snatched Tony and pulled them back into the penthouse in one quick whirl.

Tony had never been so glad to have Loki pop out of nowhere and scare the shit out of him. Even if he was mad at him for getting him in trouble with Asgard in the first place.

_Maybe._

A swirl of green light went racing around the room as they, _all-inclusive they since Sif was still latched onto Tony_ , landed in a jumble on the hard marble floor. Before they could get untangled, some other parts of Tony’s suits came rocketing up the elevator shaft, and instead of trying to assemble on Tony, they were diving towards Sif, striking her hard and knocking her, not entirely coincidentally, further away from them.

Jarvis could be very protective at times. Also innovative, Tony mused while the suit pieces turned around to assemble on him after Loki quickly removed the bindings from around his wrists.

“Heimdall!”

“He can’t hear you, Sif, or see us!” Loki snarled, heavily shoving Tony behind him. Which Tony would have appreciated a lot more, if his floors had been plush carpeting with a heavy pad underneath them rather than polished stone.

“What in Ymir’s balls do you think you are doing?” Flushed from yelling, the elegantly dressed, knife waving Loki stood beside Tony’s suit. Now that they both had weapons trained on the seething Asgardian, Tony felt a bit better.

“I am here by the All Father’s command,” the disheveled Amazon growled between gritted teeth, taking a step forward, trying to see around Loki.

“So am I,” Loki retorted twitching the knife he held aloft to keep her attention on him and not Tony. Tony popped open the shoulder pods of his suit, aiming numerous miniature missiles at Sif.

“I must insist that you stand down, Lady Sif,” Jarvis said, his tone quietly dangerous no matter how polite his phrasing. A small whirling coming from various locations had the woman glancing around wildly as ceiling ports opened and specially modified machine guns dropped down to train on her.

Then just as quickly, Jarvis called again, this time his tone was more agitated, “Sir, the Bi-Frost is opening again. I really must insist you go down to the lab to suit up properly. Your current suit has not been completely tested after its last set of repairs.

“Fuck that Jay, its good enough for this bunch.”

Crossing her arms smugly, Sif waited for reinforcements from Asgard.

Tony could see the godling in front of him tense up.

OoooO

The blinding light on the patio faded and the look on Sif face was priceless.

“Jarvis, please tell me you’re recording this,” Tony begged aloud after popping up his mask.

“Of course, sir. Multiple angles,” the AI replied, sounding more relieved than a computer should be capable of.

“Loki, darling.” A middle-aged blonde woman who was a vision in beige and gold breezed into the living room, arms outstretched.

Flipping his knife into the air, and disappearing it fuck knows where, Loki hurried forward. He shouldered, completely unnecessarily, past Sif and into what had to be his mother’s embrace. The woman stoked his hair, and the two murmured soft words to each other. While Tony enjoyed Sif’s expression of unease, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t still a bit worried about why she had been sent in the first place. After several moments, Loki’s mom held out a hand towards him and smiled. Her smile was warm, but perhaps a bit forced.

“Anthony Stark, how lovely to meet you at last.”

"Actually it’s Tony… Okay, Tony Stark.” Confident that Jarvis would keep an eye on the Grumpy Harpy with a Sword, Tony also slipped past Sif and bowed to kiss the hand that was offered to him.

Hey, just because he was American didn’t mean he wasn’t up on his old world manners. Which he figured would work since Norse gods were as old world as you could get. Besides, she looked a trifle put out with him, but he couldn’t for the life of him think why she would be.

_When in doubt, make nice with the mom._

“Indeed, Loki and Thor have mentioned a number of interesting things about you.” The gleam in her eye was an indication that while she may not be related by blood, she and the trickster were definitely related in other ways.

“Good things, right?”

“Honestly, Stark, why would I lie to my mother?”

“Seriously, Rudolf?”

“Okay, fine. Why would I lie to my mother for something less than treason or world domination?”

As Loki named her his mother, Frigga smiled beatifically upon the dark hair god, before apparently coming to her senses and making an admonishing ‘tch’ with the slightest shake of her head. “Sif, perhaps you could step outside for a few moments? And Loki darling, please lift your concealment spell, you know how your father worries when I go too far from his side."

Lips tight with displeasure, Sif nonetheless made a small grace towards the queen before heading towards the terrace doors. Unseen by Loki and the Queen, who were facing away from her, she turned to glare at Tony a moment before opening the door. Purely in the spirit of fellowship and other crap like that, Tony pulled a face and stuck his tongue out at her.

Over stretched metal groaned as she threw open the heavy terrace doors.

“Sir, Thor is rapidly approaching the tower; he appears to be carrying Captain Rogers.”

“Let me guess, you called them too when you told Loki to hurry.”

“I thought it prudent at the time, Sir.” Jarvis sniffed, in a totally non-corporeal, yet definitely snooty way.

“If he’s carrying Steve bridal style, I definitely want multiple angles, Jay.”

Linking arms with Loki and gesturing Tony ahead of her, Frigga steered them gently out of the living room, into Tony’s seldom used office.

“Loki. Heimdall has reported to the All Father that you fed Stark one of Iðunn’s golden apples.”

Which went to show Tony that HeimDude was not as all seeing as he was made out to be, since the Rock of Ages had never shared so much as a freaking tic-tac with Tony, let alone any magic fruit or any—

Tony's brain might have gone blank, but his gait was uninterrupted because of his many years of public appearances. _And admittedly all the years of doing those events drunk as a skunk_.

“Stark?” Loki turned to look at Tony, the sharpest shit eating grin Tony had ever seen spread across the young god’s face while his right eye shivered in the most deliberate wink. Then Loki banished his amusement and turned a politely confused expression towards Frigga. And despite Loki having turned away from her so that she could not see him grin and the wink at Tony, the Space Viking Queen didn’t look like she was buying his innocent confusion act one bit.

But hey, Tony knew full well that Loki was never one to give up, even when you had caught him dead to rights.

“Heimdall said he _saw_ me give Stark a golden apple?” Delicate disbelief wrapped around every syllable that fell from Loki’s extremely kissable lips.

“Loki.” Frigga snapped in what sounded like familiar exasperation. “You know that is against the rules. Only the All Father can bestow them upon a mortal.” Loki’s face took on a look of wounded confusion, with just a dash of righteous indignation.

“Mother, I assure you I did not give Stark anything, let alone one of Iðunn’s, oh-so-precious golden apples.” his sidelong smoldering look reminded Tony of numerous other things the godling would’ve liked to have given Tony.

_Before Tony realized that Loki was jailbait, that was._

Again, turning so his mother couldn’t see it, Loki again winked at him, his entire face scrunched adorably before he schooled it back into honest bewilderment for Frigga’s benefit. “I will admit that Stark did steal one from me, but I was loath to report the transgression as he is one of Thor’s shield brothers and honestly, he did it more as a prank, not realizing the gravity of his theft."

_What the—_

Tony was just about to mount of loud and vigorous protest of his innocence when he recalled that the ‘Apple Crisp Explosion’ smoothie he’d recently snagged and drank, while it had been ‘oh so conveniently’ left unattended. And come to think of it, hadn’t Jarvis been adamant about his going to get something to eat… at the precise moment Loki was in the kitchen with said just completed magic apple smoothie?

 _Collusion?_ Or Jarvis being unwilling to piss off someone who could mess with his programing? That was something his AI had steadfastly avoided since they discovered how easily Asgard’s cutest little script kiddie was able to bypass his security protocols.

“Loki,” Frigga sighed his name out, exasperation so thick around her it was most likely delaying arriving planes in the Greater NYC area. “It is punishable by death for a mortal to knowingly take one of Iðunn apples without the All Father’s approval. We had this same discussion when your friend Myrddin accidently and unknowingly ate an apple. You cannot continue to set people up like this; you know how it upsets the All Father.”

“Myrddin? Who the heck was Myrddin?” Tony whispered out of the side of his mouth.

“Merlin, I believe he later styled himself; he was Welsh or Celtic, I forget which. I visited him quite frequently for several centuries.” Loki tone of happy remembrance faded. “Until he made the mistake of befriending some harpy named Niviane, and disappearing, that is,” the god concluded with a full on pout. Frigga’s lips tightened in thin line, as if she was holding back some oft repeated remarks. No doubt on the fleeting nature of _mortal friendships_ or some bullshit like that.

“I thought I had picked them all up when they fell.” Loki’s aggrieved tone was that of every kid in the world who actually thought his half-assed attempt to do ‘whatever’ should have been enough.

 _Definitely collusion_ , Tony told himself.

“So you have said. _Repeatedly,_ ” Frigga gritted, her clasped hands tight, her small smile forced. “Yet here we are again. Surely you could find someone other than _mortals_ to **_befriend_**?” She shot Tony what could only be termed—‘A Look’.

“Whoa. There was no befriending going on here,” Tony stuttered, alarmed at the highly intensive, and not very fond scrutiny Frigga was subjecting him to. “And you know what else? There isn’t going to be.” Loki’s head shot up, micro expressions flashing across his face, almost faster than Tony could see them, until his countenance finally settled in to malevolent glare mode.

The promise of future evisceration, with a side of kicked puppies. Steve should be here taking notes. And right on cue Jarvis announced.

“Sir, Thor and Captain Rogers have just landed on the platform.”

 _Right-o._ Time to finish this before the Queen Mum calls in reinforcements with big hammers.

“This one? Too young. Seriously.” Loki scowled as Tony stepped right up to him, close enough to be almost nose to nose if Tony had been taller. He waved a finger so close to Loki’s face that most likely it was only his mother’s presence that kept the affronted god from tossing Tony through another window. “My number one, unbreakable rule is…” Tony channeled his last nanny to pack an extra measure of ‘sanctimoniously stern’ in to his voice. “Tony Stark does not mess with people under the age of consent.”

Okay, so Frigga turned down her glare several notches, but before he had pulled on his ‘ _Retribution is Imminent’_ mask, Loki had looked so broken, hurt and despairing, that Tony very much wanted to pull the god into a major hug. But instead he watched Frigga out of the side of his eye until she huffed in a very refined, queenly manner, _who knew that was even possible_ , and headed towards the terrace muttering.

The minute Frigga cleared the room, Tony checked that she was not looking back at them, he leaned in to cup the back of Loki’s neck, a-la-Thor, and pull him down. “Magic apple? Guess that means I’ll be around for a while then, huh asshole? Look, since I won’t be dead, or using a walker, I will promise that on your _Yay-I’m-an-adult_ birthday I’ll throw you the biggest party you’ve ever had.”

Tony breathed into right into Loki’s ear. “And then, if you still want to, we can celebrate with some serious adult time, the kind that leads to seeing fireworks over Yggdrasil. Fuck, we’ll set fire to the damn thing.”

And yes, Tony totally means it. After all, the guy did slip him a golden apple on the sly, so it isn’t like Tony is going to be running out of time or anything. Besides, if his calculations are correct, and hello, genius here so you know they are, Tony has quite a few decades until his hottie with horns becomes a fully adult Space Viking. Decades of having the _God of Sinful Lollipop Devouring_ tease and taunt him will be tough, but he’s pretty sure some extra soapy showers and a judicious number of really discreet hookups should allow him to survive.

“And if you don’t? Hey, it’s all good, we’ll still be best buds,” Tony added, since there was a more than decent chance that while waiting, Loki’s interest in him as a fuck buddy will fade. Youngsters and all that.

However, as the god is almost as stubborn as he is, Tony could very well be looking at those damn _‘three apples that changed the world’_ shirt for decades to come.

Then Tony had a happy thought… In fifty years or so, if Loki stuck around, one of the presents he was going to get for his birthday was a stack of t-shirts with four apples, the last one being gold with Stark written underneath it.

Slightly distracted by his contingency plans… and the sculpted abs pressed against him, Tony stood there for several long minutes. Not doing anything really, just holding, chastely mind you, on to the younger god. Who was leaning into his embrace, so he must not be in too much trouble. Which was why Tony was more than a little surprised when, without warning, Loki quickly slid away several feet away.

“Loki, Mother wants you to come see the surprise present Steven has been making for you,” Thor called, and motioned him towards the conversation group in the middle of Tony’s living room. Entering the room, Tony saw Frigga patting the slate colored sofa, and motioning Loki to join them. Rogers, bless his red, white and blue little soul was littering Tony’s coffee table with various news clippings and reports highlighting Loki’s accomplishments over the last year.

Having moved over to the bar, Tony was listening with half and ear while fixing himself a drink, when something made him look up. While the others were examining various papers, Loki was watching Tony intently, his lips moving slightly. Then, without breaking eye contact Loki touched two fingers of his right hand to his lips and then down to his own left wrist. A moment later, Tony almost dropped his glass as a stinging, swirling wispy script scrawled its way down his left forearm. _‘Then, if you want, we can celebrate with some serious adult time, the kind that leads to seeing Yggdrasil’_. After a moment, those thin letters faded and a still elegant, but ominously much bolder, seemingly more permanent script replaced them on the inside of his wrist.

**_‘I do’._ **

 

 

_~fini~_

_ _

Permalink for Art Work <https://rennemichaels.tumblr.com/post/142769855728/trouble-with-tricksters-chapter-12-success-at>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****  
> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.


	13. Bonus!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor 'chat' about responsibility. Sadly TWT Loki has a much different idea of what that means than Thor does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something I thought of when I saw this picture. ;D 
> 
> This conversation would have taken place during the early days of Loki's arrival on Midgard. We are just going to handwave the fact that it was never mentioned again in the story as it was planned, but hadn't quite occurred when TWT ended. Please, let me know what ya think.:D
> 
> Beta'd by the wonderful Emu Sam!

 

**Chapter 13 Bonus!**

A small avoidance spell kept any bystanders from noticing the two gods within their midst. Loki, neatly suited, stood beside a more casually dressed Thor who was wearing faded blue jeans and a tight moss green jacket, which the hood of a black hoodie popped out of. Arms crossed and feet spread in an almost identical stance, the brothers watched various news crews pack up from yet another story on the repairs still needed in New York City after the alien attack a few months ago.

“This is the first area that you should fix Loki,” Thor said, nodding toward the heap of broken bricks, steel and concrete.

“Why?” Loki protested, frowning heavily at Thor. “I wasn't the one who drove a space whale into the blasted building.” Turning narrowed eyes to Thor, he said with an air of forced reasonability, "You certainly can't hold me responsible for the fact that they do not corner worth a damn."

“Loki,” Came the usual baritone reprimand.

"Don’t you dare ‘Loki’ me, Thor. If it had been up to ME, we would have used SkyBoats. And don’t shake your head at me either, you oaf. Since neither the invasion itself, NOR the transports were my decision, I am most certainly not cleaning up this mess." Loki looked away from the so-called mess, to put it lightly, avoiding eye contact with Thor.

“You promised,” Thor said with a narrowing of his eyes.

Although why Loki being able to wiggle out of a bargain should come as a surprise to anyone, was a mystery worthy of the Norns themselves.

“Ah!” Loki held up a warning finger, “I promised to fix what I damaged, me personally. Which per my calculations, is pretty much limited to Stark’s abode. And while we are on the subject of damages, I do believe an entity called the National Forest Service wants to talk to you about a few trees you knocked down.”

“So, only Tony's penthouse?” Thor asked with a frown, ignoring the jab about the forestry service, whose minions Thor _had_ been avoiding all week. “But, Tony has already repaired that damage.”

“And this matters to me how Thor? Is it my fault that he didn’t wait for reparations? ”

“But, it no longer needs--”

“Again not my concern.”

“I imagine Director Fury would--”

"And before you say anything, that Shield compound was definitely not my fault."

“No?” Thor asked skeptically, stepping aside so the camera crew that really wasn’t noticing them could haul their lights back to the news van.

"No. They let the Teseract’s power build up without a way to bleed off the excess. I just took advantage of it."

“And the helicarrier? Coulson?”

“Very well, perhaps a pod replacement, I did drop that. But as for the rest, as far as I am concerned a new suit and an apple slice is all I owe that wretched mouthy little man."

“Loki!” Thor exclaimed, “You almost killed him.”

"Thor!” Loki mockingly retorted in the same tone. “He did try to kill me also, you know."

After several minutes of Loki repudiating everything else but the man in Germany, Thor had a thought.

"So how exactly do you plan on getting the funds to pay wergeld and damages in the first place brother? Father has locked down all your accounts."

"Really Thor?” Loki said with a sneer, “I had quite forgotten about that. What ever shall I do?”

Which was, Thor thought, pretty much what he was asking.

“I understand,” Loki offered, in an airy, detached way that had always spelled trouble, “that their stock exchange officials only consider it insider trading if someone associated with the company shares non-public information before a stock buy."

“And?”

"And, if I use a scrying bowl, and eavesdrop on them then it is not insider information, it's more…” Loki paused a moment, trying to remember the correct term. Then with a familiar mischievous gleam he continued, “Ah! Industrial spying. If their law enforcement can prove it, that is."

Scuffing one boot thoughtfully through the thick layer of pulverized concrete that covered every flat surface in this area, Thor stopped when he noticed he’d created a small cloud dust that was settling on the hem of his brother’s pristine black dress slacks and formerly gleaming shoes. “I don't think they use scrying bowls on Midgard,” Thor offered at last.

"No indeed. Well that takes care of that concern of them catching me at it then, doesn't it?" Loki smirked. Tching at the dust covering his shoes, Loki waved them clean with an elegant hand and a small cleaning charm. “Well, I would love to stay here and be fascinated by this rubble, but the decorator is due at the Tower in twenty minutes. She is bringing several design boards with her, and I know you will be amazed to hear that not a one of them will feature gold overlay or polished stone…” He quirked a brow at Thor, “Or indeed any of Stark’s Modern Stylings, which I find to be trite and tiresome."

Thor asked, knowing how particular Tony was about nobody touching any of his stuff, “How does Stark feel about you fixing his already repaired apartment?”

Smiling cheerfully, in a way Thor hasn’t seen for years, Loki said, “Shielding glamours and avoidance spells, for the benefit of others of course, are wonderful things. Besides, I have no intentions of Stark realizing what is going on until after it is finished. I immagine that by paying a premium I can get a quick turnaround the next time Stark is on a business trip.” Loki’s eyes glittered with such delighted mischief, Thor smiled despite himself.

“Anyhow,” Loki grinned. “I daresay the brick and reclaimed lumber Industrial look will grow on him.”

 

Permalink for Picture https://rennemichaels.tumblr.com/post/149418411883/trouble-with-tricksters-bonus-chapter-news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments and reviews are greatly appreciated, even if it is a simple I loved YYY, or ZZZ confuses me. They let me know which part is catching your attention. If you aren't a comment kind of person then bookmarks and Kudo's would be wonderful. They all help the story placement on the search engine. Many thanks to my faithful commenters and of course to all that have kudo'd and bookmarked in the past.
> 
> I don’t own the Avengers or Thor, they are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

**Author's Note:**

> Avengers, Iron Man, and Thor, are the property of Marvel and Disney, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.  
>  **[Complete list of RenneMichaels writings, gifts, and art.](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/works)**  
> .  
>  **[The Trouble with Tricksters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5143163/chapters/11837846)** COMPLETE - Loki is kept in Stark Tower, but he is a NOT silent, dignified, lone figure, mostly avoiding the Avengers he is forced to share living quarters with. Instead he is an in your face brat. Who walks a fine line between annoying the shit out of all of them but doing it in a way that isn’t blatant enough for anyone to stomp on him without an avenging Thor coming after them. 33,251 Words  
> .  
>  **[Palaces of Sand and Gold](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2398826/chapters/5303108)** COMPLETE If Tony and Loki ever broke up, Tony and the SI lawyers wouldn't stand a chance against Odin and his Logmars in a custody struggle. Fortunately it hasn’t come to that, but it is a struggle dealing with overzealous grandparents? Domestic One Shots in the Queens Grace Verse that can be read alone. 9563 words.  
> .  
>  **[The Littlest Trickster](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5056117/chapters/11627242) ** COMPLETE - Tony Stark finds out that neither he nor Loki are any match for a child determined to return to Earth. A series of One Shots as the newest heir of Asgard experiences Life on Midgard. Queens Grace Verse AU, Comes after Palaces of Sand and Gold, but can be read alone. Co-written with Ykmust. 27,800 words  
> .  
>  **[Queens Grace](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1038355/chapters/2071435)** COMPLETE WITH SEQUEL - After the New York attack, Odin has taken Loki’s magic, made him mortal and imprisoned him. But Asgard is not a safe place for the Trickster under these conditions. Recent events make Odin decide to take away one more thing from his second son, his memory going back for the last four years, making Asgard unsafe for Loki’s reduced station. From stories Thor had told, Frigga decides that Tony Stark’s tower would make an excellent secure location for amnesiac Loki to be under house arrest. 225,458 words.  
> .  
>  **[Anthony of Asgard](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2193336/chapters/4803567) ** \- COMPLETE - After several years of being housed in Stark Tower as a state prisoner of Asgard, Loki is recalled to Realm Eternal. Devastated Tony is now minus a lab partner, wingman and a snark buddy for movie night. Pepper has moved to the west coast and married, SHIELD is doing some crazy shit and with the exception of occasionally seeing Bruce, Tony doesn’t have much interaction with his former team mates. He wonders how it is possible to feel so lonely in a city so full of people. However he's and engineer and a genius... he can fix this. All he has to do is convince Queen Frigga and Odin All Father to go along with his plan. - Sequel to Queens Grace.  
> .  
>  **[How Desperate Are You?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/778956/chapters/1466437)** COMPLETE WITH SEQUEL – Loki has had a bad year and after leaving Midgard with Thor and challenging Odin isn’t making it any better, but no matter how smart you are… Sometimes stubborn happens. It may not seem to be in your best interest, but how desperate are you for a resolution? Any resolution. Loki is returned to Asgard and nothing good happens, but Loki isn’t the only one with issues, Odin has plenty of his own, especially in the realm of A+ Parenting. Loki is desperate to escape from Asgard, Odin and his past. 73,000 Words  
> .  
>  **[Desperate for Change](http://archiveofourown.org/works/943697/chapters/1841248)** COMPLETE - Returning to Midgard after an absence of almost two years, Loki finds that as desperate for change as he has been, some changes will take time to get used to, especially when they concern his relationship with Tony and Pepper. Sequel to How Desperate Are You? 77,000 Words  
> .  
>  **[ Lets Bark a Deal](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4307787)** COMPLETE - A spell goes wrong leaving the Avengers and Loki with a very different outlook to say the least. Tony's need to make a deal with Loki is hampered by the body he finds himself in. One Shot  
> .  
>  **[Lessons from Asgard – Courtesy of Loki 2 - The Dark World](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1037116)** COMPLETE - A primer for anyone who has ever wondered what the heck is going on in the Eternal City. More humor than spoiler, but if you are a stickler please don't read. Asgard Secrets Exposed  
> 


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